My Little Hut of Thoughts

Finishing Well

2011-03-01T07:11:00.000+08:00

Somehow at the end of every week, the feelings of inadequacy would resurface. I feel exhausted. I have given everything I have to give, yet I don’t feel satisfied with what I've done throughout the week.

I didn't get to know my kids well enough. I didn’t get to start the kids on the starfish craft. We didn’t practice handwriting for the week. I was too serious and not funny enough. I was easily irritable and impatient with the kids. I wish I had done a better job at helping the kids read. I feel like a total failure!

Then again, maybe I didn’t do too bad after all. Majority of these kids has grasped the concept of addition and subtraction. They recognize new words. They know the months of the year. They even know the order of creation off by heart. They have interacted well and shown loving kindness to each other in the classroom.

I think I’m going crazy. I strive to end each week well, but what does it mean to end well? How do i know if i have been successful?

I know i can’t and shouldn’t measure it by looking at the kids’ grades on papers. If that’s the case, then maybe it’s about asking, Did I do my best everyday? Did I depend wholly on God for wisdom and strength? Did I put my kids’ and parents’ needs above mine?

Yes, i did. But, i still don’t quite feel successful? I still feel unsatisfied with myself, knowing i could have done a better job.Then again, we’ll always be able to do a better job than the last since there’s always gonna be room for improvement.

It was only recently, through a group devotion, that I was made to realized that from God's perspective, my success as a teacher is all about my love walk with Him and others. It isn’t about my kids’ academic achievement. Neither is it about how much of my teaching program I have covered. It is however about this:

Did I disciple my kids?
Did I illustrate Christ love to them, and teach them how to be loving?
Did my passion for life shine through, and did I encourage these kids to follow their God-given passions?
Did I set my kids on the paths they should go and instill in them the desire to grow and become more than who they currently are?
Did I model and teach them perseverance, patience, kindness, and self-control?
Was my focus on teaching with intention--not perfectly at every moment, but as a whole, from the first day to the very last--did I keep sight of the ultimate prize, which is eternal?

I’ve realized now how intricate it is for me to judge myself or evaluate myself. So, I’m gonna let God, who is my identity and source, and whose ways are higher than my ways, determine how well I've accomplished His tasks.

In reality, it doesn’t matter what others think. It doesn’t even matter what I think; for only what He thinks matters.

A new year

2010-01-07T02:08:00.000+08:00

I miss December. There's so many things I love about it. There are the fabulous Christmas lightings and decorations; caroling; and Christmas parties. The smiles and sheer joy on people’s face as presents are exchanged. The many gatherings with family and friends, both new & old, near & far, at camps, weddings or birthdays. Plus, the aroma of both sweets and savories, filling the house continuously with the smell of food... ;)

Perhaps if I had super powers, I would make every month of the year a December. I don’t think I would mind having the same countless delightful moments I had in December over and again. It’ll be a pleasure! But then again, I’ll be really blind and self-serving if I choose to do that and not want any changes.

Life is full of changes and will always be; that’s a fact. And in as much as I don’t really like changes, I need to remember that the Christian life isn’t about the pursuit of personal happiness. Rather, it is about the pursuit of God’s holiness. It is only as we pursue His holiness that true happiness, contentment, can be found; even in the midst of changes.

I’m pretty sure that that one day when we get Home, we won’t have to deal with changes anymore. But until then, we will have to courageously and faithfully depend on the strength of His grace to cope with every life changing circumstance that comes our way. And for this, dear Lord, I ask that You’ll enable to do so each and every day in this new year.

Beauty of marriages

2009-11-07T13:33:00.004+08:00

He made the first move in showing interest in me despite my weaknesses and failures. He took the initiative to express interest in making me His bride. He shed His blood to confirm His interest and love for me. And so I said, “I do”.

Since then, He has never left me. He’s always there to lead me, protect me and provide for me. Thus I know He is serious when He said that we will be together for eternity. And I look forward to the day when He personally comes again to bring me to His side.

Maybe that’s why I love weddings so much. Witnessing a man and a woman come into union as they exchange vows is such an assuring reminder of Christ eternal marriage covenant with us, His bride. It’s also an incredible joyous occasion where the reunion of many meaningful friendships takes place- a fore glimpse and taste of what it will be like when He comes again.

I’ve always wondered why weddings have such a special place in my heart. Now I clearly know why.

PS- To Gladys & Eugene, Jacob & Yap, Lu Chien & fiancé, thank you for inviting me to be part of your Big Day. It’s truly an honour & blessing. Can’t wait to see you guys in Dec!

Specially for the newlyweds

2009-08-08T01:13:00.001+08:00

To be honest, I don’t have many sweet memories of growing up with my kor as he was quite a grumpy, hot-tempered boy, who didn’t like to smile. He was fierce and must always have things his way. And so, You Shen (my younger brother) and I never quite enjoy being around him. But, things slowly changed when he started studying in Perth, and changed even more after he met Deborah. He became a more caring and considerate person, as well as a protective and sociable brother- someone whom I became very proud of. It was a total 180 degrees positive change in his character and it was this change that slowly brought us closer together. We began opening up to one another, sharing our personal life stories and fun times together.

On the other hand, I remember getting to know Deborah at an Overseas Christian Fellowship camp about four years ago. We were roommates during camp and she was certainly one roommate I’ll never forget because I had never had a roommate who could sleep so much and so heavily like her. Every morning, she would have to wake up earlier than me for either music practice or breakfast duty, but somehow, I would always be the one who end up waking up earlier. Did she have an alarm clock? Yup…but it didn’t mater whether she had one or not. Not because she didn’t bother using it, but because she would sleep right through the alarm anyway or snooze it for uncountable times until I woke her up personally. I don’t think it bothered her at all her alarm clock was disturbing others as she was just too deep in her sleep.

But, although I knew she had an abnormal sleeping behaviour, I could see my kor falling for her, for she didn’t seem like a high maintenance girl who needs to go shopping every week. More importantly, she was a committed Christian who had and still has a soft and gentle personality, as well as a caring and considerate heart. And so, when my brother told me that he was going after Deborah, I was more delighted than surprised to hear that.

Ever since then, I’ve had the privilege to see them grow closer and deeper in their relationship with each other as time went by. I’ve seen them learn to like opposites interests so that they may share and experience the same things with one another. My brother has started learning how to eat spicy food, something which I know he would never have done if not for Deborah. Similarly, Deborah has learnt to like watching Australian footy because my brother enjoys it. I’ve also seen them learn how to celebrate in each other’s successes and carry each other’s burdens, which is a very encouraging thing to witness.

From friendship to courtship to loveship to marriage. No words can express how happy and relieved I am to be able to see them both finally married today.

Dearest kor and Deborah, today is a day you will always remember. A brand new beginning, the start of a new chapter in your life, with moments to cherish and treasure. Although there will be times when you both disagree, these will surely be outweighed by pleasures. So, live joyfully forever as lovers and friends, and as husband and wife. And with God’s grace, may your lives together be always blessed with the same kind of love, joy, excitement and hope He has given you today.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T22:38:00.001+08:00

By the world’s standards, my mum is not a Supermom. She’s organized, keeps the house beautiful and tidy, but not always. You’ll find her frazzled and unorganized at times, especially when she’s got million and one things on her to-do list. She can leave the house with her blouse inside out, obvious dabs of face cream on her cheeks, or purse left on the kitchen table.

But, so what if mum’s not a Supermom who can multi-task efficiently? I love her anyway. Even if she can only succeed at doing a few things, I still love her. I love her not because she can do many/little things for me, but because she does all things with utmost love and care for me.

If I can make mistakes, have stuffed up, moody or even bad hair days, so can mum. How arrogant and egotistical I would be if I were to think that mum must always be a perfect model, setting perfect examples in life.

I love you, mum. And I always will.

Life's freedom

2009-05-08T01:11:00.003+08:00

Freedom…a common thing we all long for in life. But what is freedom? Does it mean being able to do and say things, or choose whatever we want? A life without any restrictions or limits- is this really what freedom is all about? Somehow, the more I think about it, the more I disagree with that definition.

In our world, many live their lives without any boundaries. More often than not, such liberty eventually results in negative behaviours like bullying, drug abuse, drinking, and pornography. Very soon, these behaviours become a habitual thing, and the one who gets caught up with them are enslaved by them, for they find no ability to control their habits. When this happens, will we be able to honestly say that this is freedom?

Perhaps it is fair for me to say that in reality, human freedom is a very limited freedom. It can only lead us to become slaves to negative acts, feelings and behaviours- sin. Conversely, God’s freedom is the real freedom we yearn for. His truths illuminate the true meaning of free living and thus, keep us from sin’s destructive bondages.

The Bible says that we become slaves to whatever we give ourselves to (Romans 6:16). We can be slaves to God and be free from the bondage of sin, for the truth will set us free. Alternatively, we can be free from God and be slaves to the bondage of sin. This is a choice we each have to make. Which one will you choose?

Who are the really educated ones?

2009-04-30T13:00:00.006+08:00

Compare a learned man to an uneducated one. The former is literate, cultured, rich in knowledge, and receives systematic education. The latter, on the other hand, has no privilege to education or whatsoever alike, maybe due to poverty; not trained in any universities or schools of learning, and could look uncivilized. Yet, why does it seem that the learned man is slower at understanding the things of God than the unlearned one?

Perhaps we, the learned ones, are putting too much trust in education. We think that education and knowledge is the key to solving all our problems, be it health-related, business-related, or social issues. Many even believe that education is the key ingredient to successful living, for it helps us gain wealth and fame, beauty and material things. But, in reality, we are actually educating ourselves further and further away from God.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not against education. I try to help kids understand that education is good and important so that they can be encouraged to learn. However, education alone cannot help us gain the real life of love, joy, peace, and freedom, which only Jesus can offer. Plus, we can be the most refined and knowledgeable people in the world, and yet be in fact foolish, if we choose to ignore His truths.

In the eyes of God, the "better-educated people" are perhaps the ones who grasp Him more easily and closely. They may be illiterate, uneducated, uncultured, or simply unsuccessful in the eyes of the world, but they are truly the wise, educated and successful ones because they know Him.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools ~ Romans 1:21-22

Technically vs. Biblically

2009-04-21T15:02:00.005+08:00

Technically, there is nothing wrong with watching 8 hours of TV during holidays.

Technically, there is nothing wrong going on a twosome escapade with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Technically, there is nothing wrong with investing money in stock markets.

Technically, there is nothing wrong with an unmarried man and woman living together all by themselves in the same house.

Technically, there is nothing wrong with occasional smoking or gambling. It’s bad if you get addicted to them, but if it’s simply once in a blue moon, or a one-time thing, technically, there’s nothing wrong.

…and so the list can go on.

As God’s children, perhaps we should stop assessing our actions ‘technically’, and start assessing them ‘biblically’. For although ‘technically’ is meant to help us reason and assess according to facts, our facts may sometimes be wrong, thus unreliable. ‘Facts’ may look and sound, plus even feel right at times, but Satan may be deceiving us by distorting what we think is true and right. On the other hand, ‘biblical’ terms are always reliable since they are based on what God says. They also drive us to deeply consider our every action, thoughts and word; right to their very core- our motives, purpose and intent.

"Everything is permissible—but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible – but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others…So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" ~ 1 Cor 10:23-24; 31.

Can we truthfully say that watching 8 hours of TV or going on a twosome holiday is constructive? Can we honorably smoke or gamble for the glory of God? Can we in our good conscience ask God to bless our investment in stock markets? Have we considered our actions not only in relation to our self and God, but also in relation to their influences on the people around you- your family, friends, and public?

If our sincere desire is still to honor Him with our bodies, we need to be evaluating our lives biblically, and be truly honest (with God and ourselves) when doing so.

The friends of the paralytic man

2009-04-13T16:34:00.002+08:00

I’ve read and heard about the story of Jesus healing the paralytic (Mark 2:1-12) umpteen times, but for the very first time today, I saw the story from a different viewpoint, one which I never did before. Quite interestingly, it was the children in my classroom who helped me see this story anew. This happened as I was retelling the story to them.

At interval times, I would pause and ask the children to imagine themselves in the story- to visualize the feelings or thoughts of the paralytic man, four men and the crowd. Now, I’ve never imagined myself as one of the four men who brought the paralytic man to Jesus, but the kids were very good at it. And as they were sharing their thoughts and feelings, I began to see the love and amazing faith these four men had.

The Bible didn’t say whether these men were friends or relatives to the paralytic. Nevertheless, whether as a friend or relative, these men showed that they truly cared for the paralytic and had faith that Jesus would make him walk again. Having seen that there was no way they could get the paralytic to Jesus upon their arrival, due to the large crowd around the house, they could have just gone back and said “Let’s come back again another day”, or “Let's just forget it”.

Yet, they did not. They did not give up so easily. They went to the extreme by opening the roof of the house and lower their friend down slowly when it wasn’t even their house!! They were willing to bring his friend to Jesus at any cost.

At this point, it makes me kind of wonder if I demonstrate such faith and love towards my friends too. Do I do whatever it takes to bring my loved ones to Jesus? Sometimes I try to, but not always. I know that there are still times when I would rather be a passive Christian who need not do ‘weird’ things. Coz’ then I won’t have to fear rejection or risk being laughed at by people.

For this, I ask for Your forgiveness and grace to help me be a passionate follower of you, dear Lord.

Happy New Year

2009-01-03T20:36:00.000+08:00

A new year, with new beginnings, fresh starts. My heart beats with excitement, anticipating to a brand new year of adventure. But, at the same time, it beats with fear; wondering if this year will be better than the last.

Perhaps I worry too much about the future, hence the fear. Perhaps I think too much into things; wondering how I would cross bridges before I even come to any of them. But sometimes, determining that delicate line between reasonable forethought and paralyzing forethought is simply tricky.

I don’t want to be like a foolish and aimless man, who gives no thoughts about the future. But, neither do I want to plan for it until I become controlled by it. So Lord, please grant me a spirit of sound mind and wisdom as I embark this new year. Enable me to live each day, fearing nothing except You. Teach me and help me learn how to daily live with Your power and love.

In Jesus’ name I pray,
Amen.

Confrontation dilemma

2008-11-23T19:10:00.000+08:00

One of the trickiest things a person has to do sometimes is confront another individual. In the workplace we are often faced with conflict arising from issues related to actions taken by an individual that directly impact us in some way. How do we effectively communicate concerns to another person in a way that does not alienate that person, but still allows us to confront the issue?

Often, I’m baffled by the choice to flee or fight when I’m faced with a conflict arising from the actions from another individual. Especially when I know that the other person is clearly wrong, my inner being just feel like fighting back, to stand up for what I know is right.

On the other hand, I worry that if I do voice out, I would be doing it for the wrong reason- to shame, rather than correct the opposite party. Even if I am clear of my (good) motives, I fear of taking the risks of rejection and anger. I fear that I’ll be seen as the ‘offender’ of another’s feelings. Hence, I flee from the issue altogether. I keep silent.

However, perhaps I have been wrong in thinking that I have only two choices in managing conflicts; either to flight or fight. Perhaps there is another option, the best and rightful one too- godly confrontation. For when I consider to ‘flight’ (flee) or ‘fight’ a situation, what eventually happens is I end up feeling frustrated with myself for either not standing up for the truth when I have the chance, or for being unforgiving and self-seeking in fighting for the respect I think I deserve.

But if I consider godly confrontation, I wouldn’t have to fear standing up for the truth. Neither would I be combative or argumentative in proving my rights. Instead, I would be trusting God to help me resolve the situation. My relationship with the Father is what I would first address. His throne of grace would be where I would first approach. His agenda would be what I would seek first; not my problems or solutions.

I believe that through godly confrontation, what will eventually happen is I would have His wisdom and courage to do what is right and necessary.

At a career crossroad

2008-10-25T22:50:00.000+08:00

Career decisions are daunting. I didn’t use to understand how daunting it might be until now, as I am standing at a career crossroad myself. On one hand, I look forward to the next season of life that God is bringing me into- the working life. On the other hand, I feel fearful and perplexed by the multiple path choices I have before me. I’m afraid that I might one day see my choices eventually change my life for the worse, instead for the better. I am also afraid that I may mistakenly make a decision that isn’t part of God’s will, particularly when I am tempted to simply follow the crowd

If only God would give me a supernatural direct tip-off on the best career path for me. I’ll be happy to just sit around and wait until He gives me a sign as to where He wants me to go. After all, He knows what’s best for me. Or perhaps, He could send someone to tell me what the ideal thing to do is; this’ll be nice too. But, in as much I hope He’ll do just that, I know He won’t because part of our duty as a Christian is to learn how to be godly and wise decision-makers. Plus, I have a feeling that if God hadn’t given us the freedom to make decisions, we will be complaining for not having the liberty to do whatever we want.

I guess decision-making is one of the ways that God uses to bring us close to Him. For in the process of thinking through a problem, we learn to depend on Him for counsel and guidance. Accordingly, we learn to work in partnership with Him. Thus, perhaps the key to resolving this issue lies in the word ‘partnership’. For while God promises to instruct me and teach me in the way that I should go, I still need to make sure I do my bit in making wise and godly decisions. And through it all, may my heart be truly open and submissive to do His will; not mine.

Learning to recognize the Father's voice

2008-10-15T22:10:00.001+08:00

I couldn’t recognize the number flashing on my cell phone. It was an unfamiliar number, unregistered in my address book. But, the voice on the other end wasn’t unfamiliar at all. At the first sound of “Hello” voiced, I knew instantaneously who it was. It was dad! He had called in simply to remind me of our dinner appointment that night.

It isn’t surprising that I managed to detect my Dad as the caller so almost immediately, is it? After all, he’s my dad! How can I not know his voice? Perhaps you too can relate to a similar experience, where you could immediately recognize the voice of the person calling you without needing any other clues. Maybe it’s a close friend, family member, or partner.

I wish I could say that I can recognize our heavenly Father’s voice as instantaneously too. I wish I can honestly say that my relationship with Him is as close as the one I have with my dad. For how well I recognize His voice is an indication of how well I know Him and close I am in my relationship with Him. But I know can’t say that. I still often lack the discipline or desire to talk to Him & read His Word, even though I know I should. I let the busyness of daily going-ins and –outs take precedence before Him. As a result, I sometimes find myself in confusion when trying to discern between God’s voice, my inner voice and other people’s voice.

And so, I pray that the Father will continue to grow me deeper in love with Him each day. I want to be able to recognize His voice; His leading and guidance in my every day life, as simply & clearly as possible, as He would allow. Nothing beats the delight and joy of following His commands and ways in life.

"We can't always know the mind of God, but we can always know the heart of God." ~Beth Moore

Coincidence or Answered Prayers?

2008-09-28T22:33:00.000+08:00

Everything seemed uncertain. I was as nervous as a mouse. I wondered frantically how I was going to get through one whole term of prac work. But I did.

As I look back over the last ten weeks, I know I wouldn’t have been able to do it without God’s continuous working in me and through me, even before I started my final prac. He’s answered so many of my prayers in ways that I never could have imagined. The most unimaginable miracle that happened throughout prac was to be able to do cooking and baking with the kids.

I do believe that God has given me the ability to cook and bake as a gift to serve Him and the people around me. However, I had never imagined myself using this gift in a classroom or school setting because I had never heard of teachers running cooking/baking classes on a weekly basis with kids before; what more to say, student teachers. But, God has somehow placed me with Alison, my mentor teacher, who also loves cooking and baking, and most importantly, aims to instill healthy eating habits and cooking skills in children as she believes that they are essential life skills children need when they grow older. So, she decided to do have a food theme-based topic for this term.

It wasn’t a coincidence; no way could have simply been a lucky chance that I was able to do cooking and baking with the kids. When Alison first told me her choice of theme, deep down, I knew it was God’s working. He was affirming me that I wasn’t going to be alone through the whole ten weeks; He will constantly be with me as I journey through this training period. And He was.

Every now and again, I received what some may call it a coincidence or an answered prayer from God to encourage me on. He sent different people-friends, mums, and random people like the cashier at the check-out counter- as unwitting messengers of His encouragement to me in many situations, and often at just the time I needed them. Be it through actions or words, their acts of kindness & encouragement rekindles my hope in God and His promises to help me stop worrying so much.

It wasn’t always easy, to allow God and the people He sent along my path to refresh my hope and joy in Him. However, I thank God that He still didn’t leave me nor forsook me through it all. He had faithfully and lovingly guided me through the whole term. Despite all the difficulties and near-to-giving-up-moments, overall, I have enjoyed my prac very much, so much more than I had expected.

To Him be all the glory and praise!

Wilderness Beginnings

2008-08-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

God had a message for me today. A timely one too. I was feeling pretty much drained by the end of yesterday; physically, mentally and spiritually. I thought probably a good night rest would do me good, have a new start again today. But, today, this morning, I didn’t start off too good either. I woke up late when I actually promised to take two of my friends with me to church.

Never had I felt so exhausted throughout my course so far. I sure did have challenging moments in the last few years; I thought those were the worst already. But, this week, I allowed a new record to settle in that by the end of the week, I was at the brink of breaking down.

I prayed for God to help me know He’s near because I needed to know that He’s still on my side. I needed to know that His arms are still holding me and keeping me surrounded in His embrace. And He answered.

Graham’s sermon today was on wilderness beginnings. He referred to Mark 1:1-12 as he talked about how Jesus, as soon as he was baptized, as soon as God announced that He was well-pleased with him, was being led by the Spirit into the wilderness for 40 days. He was led there by the Spirit of God for an important purpose- to be trained and equipped by God before he begins his ministry work.

At that point of time, I felt God speaking deep within my heart, telling me that that’s what He’s doing with me at the moment. He’s led me into the wilderness, my 40-day prac, so that I may be trained and equipped for something greater in the future. Most importantly, He’s led me to this ‘wilderness’ so that I can hear His voice saying I am His beloved child, with whom He is well-pleased.

No one may know or see my current experience as being in the wilderness or as a great time of testing, but that’s OK. I know God knows and anyway, He’s more concerned with the effects that follow after this 40-day period. Till then, I just need to be patient and continually wait upon Him for strength and guidance.

Thank you, Lord, for this new and fresh perspective.

Teach me how to teach, Lord...

2008-08-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

I’m so glad it’s the weekend. I’ve been looking forward to this as I can finally relax a little after my preliminary prac. The last two weeks have really been very trying for me, but I’m glad that God saw me through it with His strength and has indeed given me a good share of enjoyable moments.

Yet, although it’s the weekend, something within me still feels unsettled. The good night sleep which I was so looking forward to last night didn’t really turn out as good as I anticipated. My mind still takes itself back to the classroom and the kids. Consequently, my heart feels burdened by the thoughts of my coming six weeks prac. I fear I will not be able to make it through the whole six weeks seeing that I’m already struggling so hard to find my footing the past two weeks.

How I wish I have all the knowledge and the understanding of how to be a good & skillful teacher right now. I wish I have all the answers to successful classroom management now. I wish I have overflowing ideas of creative ideas now; because if I have all these knowledge & skills now, I won’t have to struggle as much.

But, I know that God won’t give me all the answers now because He wants to use these trying times to bring me close to Him. Plus, teaching is something that will only improve over time. Thus, there’s no point for me to get frustrated or impatient with my lack of skills now; which means that at the moment, all I can do is to patiently and faithfully wait upon the Lord, trusting Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength to see me through my whole teaching prac. And that is indeed exactly what I want to do.

So, dear Lord, please help me; help strengthen my weak faith. Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me ~ Ps 119:133.

In Jesus’ name I pray,
Amen.

Loving quietness

2008-07-15T12:15:00.000+08:00

I remember as a teenager, I hated quiet moments. I hated them because they often involve an absence of activity and goings-on, and any teenager would tell you that inactivity is simply boring! There’s no excitement at all without action.

However, I notice that over the years, my outlook on quietness has changed. Once upon a time, I tried avoiding it at all cost. But now, I want to seek it, treasure it and hold on to it as long as I can.

I guess over the years, I’ve really grown to discover and treasure God’s presence in times of silence and stillness. For on countless occasions, I have found my inner being burning with nervousness and anxiety. Yet, somehow, the troubled mind and heart can often find peace and calmness when I make an intentional choice to sit still and focus on God. Somehow, stillness brought about power and strength.

Perhaps the greatest strength than any one can find is in moments of silence, action-free. Because it is in those moments that the inner soul can hear the gentle whisper of God saying,
“My grace is all you need, because my power is perfected in weakness ~2 Cor 12:9
So, be still My child, I know your way
And I will guide, For My name's sake
Plunge in the rivers of My grace
Rest in the arms of My embrace” ~Don Moen

"Freedom" of Speech

2008-07-08T20:37:00.000+08:00

We all live in a society that promotes the freedom of speech. It is a basic common right that every person is entitled to. But, I wonder if people are truly given the freedom to express their ideas and opinions openly. Of course, I understand that there must be certain restrictions on this freedom otherwise people may abuse it to create troubles and dangers by using violent or false language.

However, our culture today seems to pinpoint any one whose speech provokes the feelings and thoughts of the listener, although the speaker’s intention is to endorse truth or encourage peace. In a way, it appears that one can only enjoy the blessing of free expression if his/her expressed opinions and thoughts do not invoke another one’s feelings, even though they may truly benefit the listener.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons why many of us, Christians dare not express our faith outside the walls of the church. We fear that others may consider us as “offenders” of peace. We fear that the truth will hurt and offend our listeners, our friends, so, we rather stay silent. Plus, there are so many of them and so few of us. To go against them would mean ‘suicide’.

Nonetheless, this is exactly what we must do if we want to gain all with Christ. We have to deny ourselves, be willing to lose all that we have, even our lives, if we want to follow Him. For “the man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:25). Moreover, the Gospel of Christ will always be controversial in any case. It will be good news to those who accept it, but an offense to those who disagree with it.

People may think that we’re foolish to go against them, to risk our lives. But, let’s not be discouraged. We aren’t losing our lives for nothing. We have simply given all that we have in exchange for something greater- an unending life of joy and happiness with God. If only they knew.

Eyes of faith- the eyes that never need to grow old

2008-07-02T22:35:00.000+08:00

At my current age, I wouldn’t dare say that I have seen much of life already. I have so much more to experience in life to learn about it. But, I would have to admit that God has opened my eyes to see so many of His great works in life that I can no longer deny His power and the truths of His Word.

Yet, at times, it seems so hard to believe what God tells me even though I know I can simply trust every word that He says. I find myself being more surprised than grateful when I experience His power working in my life. It’s like I am startled to even see His power work.

I wonder if times of unbelief like these arise because I’ve allowed too much noise from the outside to enter into center stage and stifle the clear voice of God speaking. Perhaps I’ve permitted the harsh realities of this world to rob me of the simple pleasures of childhood; my childlike faith. For if I truly had faith like a child, I would be waiting in eager expectation for Him to work wonders in every situation of my life, be excited & grateful when He gives me new ideas and experiences, rather than taken aback when He does.

As we journey through life, I know it is inevitable for many things to age. Nonetheless, there is one thing I hope will never age- my eyes of faith. I pray that the Lord may help me preserve them so that they will forever remain childlike. I want to be able to laugh gleefully, to sing aloud and to openly express my amusement, just like little children, even when I have grown to a ripe old age.

God does the shaping & the moulding, not us

2008-06-22T19:56:00.000+08:00

He’s outlined a plan for every one of us. He already has a specific design in mind- what gifts and talents we’ll each possess, how we’ll use them, & what role we’ll play in building His kingdom.

Then, according to the individual unique plans He has for us, He thoughtfully moulds us. He shapes our being & our character, just like how a potter shapes the clay till it becomes a beautiful figurine. He refines us and purifies us from all impurities, just like how a blacksmith works the steel, so that we grow to become more like His Son, Jesus Christ.

Thus, perhaps our duty as a Christian isn’t about working hard to fit into God’s plans, but about letting God fit His plans into our lives. For we don’t do the fitting; God does. Even if at times we find ourselves falling short of our own goals & expectations, it is ok. Our failures do not necessarily mean that we aren’t doing well enough for Him.

It is all about His workings, not ours. He only asks that we may be willing to be open to Him. Then slowly, but surely, He will work His plans through us. Therefore, may we all willingly go to Him daily to seek His will and plan for our lives. And as we go to him, may we go truly go with a humble and submissive heart that is willing to surrender & offer all that we have to Him so that our lives can truly be a living sacrifice for Him.

Submissive Prayer

2008-06-13T09:24:00.000+08:00

There’s nothing wrong with being persistent or insistent in prayer. After all, the Bible encourages us to pray at all times. But sometimes, perhaps prayer is not all about being insistent or persistent, but it also about being submissive. For I realized that when I am too insistent, I fall into the trap of continually asking God to fulfill my certain requests, without even pausing for a moment to ask Him for His opinions- whether that’s what He wants for me too.

Prayer was never meant to be a way for getting what we want from God, but rather a way for getting more of Him. We are meant to seek the Giver, not the gifts. We are meant to seek first His Kingdom and righteousness. However, I know I haven’t always been able to go to Him with a sincere intention to know Him, to get more of Him. Because the fleshly nature constantly demands for instant answers and solutions.

Nonetheless, I pray that the Holy Spirit will continually teach me how to pray with the right attitude and the right intentions. Whether or not the Father chooses to grant or deny any of my requests, I believe that He is all-powerful and will answer me according to His perfect will and timing.

A comforting response for the raging soul

2008-06-06T19:51:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord,
My heart yearns for Your comfort and peace right now. I am relieved to be done with deceit, but Lord to once again walk in the light of the whole truth is hard. The past lies are still tangled with the truth that I sometimes get confused distinguishing the rights from the wrongs. I know You’ve forgiven me, yet I struggle to accept Your forgiveness. I know You’re real, but the heavy feelings and discouraging thoughts of self-doubt seem more real to me right now. Please, please make them go away Lord. Grant me the strength that I need to let go of the guilt & shame of the past and move into freedom. Help me feel Your presence, Lord. Help me to view myself not from my own perspective, but the way you see me.
Your anguish child.

My Dear Child,
Be strong and courageous. I will direct you in paths of righteousness. Although you are weak, in Me you are strong. I feel everything you feel, I see everything your mind see; that’s how close I am to You. My child, I love you and I will never forsake you, for you are truly Mine, and I am truly Yours.
Love, God.

Why not quit

2008-06-01T16:19:00.000+08:00

I felt so strongly to walk out of Mackas and quit working there & then. Too many expectations; in fact, too many variations in these expectations. Different managers and senior worker expecting me to deliver different things. I felt tired and exhausted after having to keep on learning & re-learning their varying expectations for the past three months.

I was already telling myself, “Why hassle with a job that doesn’t appreciate and respect their workers? Why take in all the unrealistic pressure when I can move on to a better job and a better employer?” But, something held me back from lashing out my frustration. The thought of quitting suddenly felt wrong.

I realized deep down, God was trying to tell me that if I quit, I would be leaving for the wrong reason. While it seems practical to just move on to a better job where I can get the respect I deserve, God was trying to remind me that difficult people are everywhere. There is no perfect employer; neither is there going to be a perfect working place. So, I might as well start figuring out how to live & work with them now.

It was painful to have to have to go through this experience, but God has fixed my eyes more firmly on Christ now. And, that is what I pray He will help me do in the coming days of work to come- to fix my eyes on His goodness and stay encouraged because of Him. Although Mackas is just a part-time job and I won’t be staying there for long, I want to make sure that if I leave, I leave for the right reasons; God-centered reasons.

"Helpaholics"

2008-05-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

I’ve always known the words ‘alcoholics’ and ‘workaholics’, but never ‘helpaholics’. It’s a new word I picked up from one of my lecture notes last week. Like the former two, ‘helpaholics’ also live an addictive lifestyle; just not to alcohol or work, but helping others. According to Carmen Renee Berry, ‘helpaholics’ are usually caught in the “Messiah trap”, a two-sided lie.

Side 1 of the lie says, “If I don't do it, it won't get done".

Side 2 of the lie says, "Everyone else's needs take priority over mine."

As I read this, I couldn’t help but wonder if this trap is the chief reason why many Christians face burnouts in ministry today. On the surface, all our loving actions appear gracious and noble; godly. But, in actuality, this “Messiah trap” is no more than a misleading and deadly lie that Satan wants us to believe.

In my life, I see the tendency of me falling into this trap time and again although many times, clear symptoms show to forewarn me of the danger. Lack of sleep & rest. Constant worries. Quick hurtful feelings. Self-denial, and feelings of ‘dryness’ to daily practices. All these symptoms are the red alerts in my life. Yet, every now and then, I still feign to ignore them, and I eventually find myself out of balance as I pursue to do God’s work. On the other hand, I find that when I make it a persistent habit to seek God for renewal of mind and strength, my heart experience more joy and consistent delight.

Perhaps for us, ‘helpaholics’, the one & only therapist we need to see is God himself, the Healer. For only He can help us break free from unrealistic expectations and grant us a fresh & right perspective to helping and caring for others. And guess what, we don’t even need to schedule and wait for weeks to see Him. Right now, right here, wherever we are, we can choose to meet with Him. And I believe, as we continually seek Him for counsel & advice, as well as for refreshing moments, we will find His unlimited power working through us to duly help others.

The perfect mum for me

2008-05-11T14:46:00.000+08:00

I like shorts and jeans, but she prefers skirts and dresses. I like sleeping with an extra pillow or bolster, but, to her, it’s just a bizarre habit since mine usually ends up the other side of the bed or on the floor anyway. Give us a choice between two bean paste buns, and for sure she’ll grab the red bean one, while I’ll grab the lotus bean one.

We both have our differences, my mum and I, and as such, I didn’t always understand her. I suppose she didn’t always know what to make of me either, in view of the fact that arguments & disagreements are not foreign in our mother-daughter relationship.

Nonetheless, in spite of all our differences- in interests, preferences and routines, I believe that she is the perfect mum for me. Not to imply that she is perfect in every way coz’ none of us can be. However, because knowing that God is perfect and thus, cannot make mistakes, I believe that He has specially placed me in mum’s life and hers in mine for a good cause; a good reason. Even before I was born, He’s planned for our lives to intertwine and bond in this way.

There’ll be times when we’ll argue; resent and get angry at one another; and times where we’ll misunderstand each other. But deep down, we both know how much we love and treasure each other. Perhaps these differences are just God-designed differences to help us both grow more in His likeness. God does works in unexpected ways anyway.

Happy Mother’s Day, mum.

With much love & hugs,
Serene.

God speaks even in the most comical & amusing ways

2008-05-06T12:24:00.000+08:00

Earlier this morning, I was contemplating hard whether to do some groceries and get some cooking done before I go to class or just lay back a bit and let my kitchen plans go. On one hand, I really wanted to cook- for others, but on the other hand, I was wondering whether my kitchen plans was part of God’s.

In the end, I decided to just go do some groceries anyway. I started getting myself ready and all this while, I was also praying that the Holy Spirit might give me a sign, to assure me that I was doing exactly what God would have me to do, because if I were to carry on with my kitchen plans, I really would like God to agree with those plans too.

I got myself showered and changed. Then, I got my car keys. Headed out the door and started walking towards my car. And just as I was started to get comfortable with the idea of going ahead with my kitchen plans and getting into the car, I heard something went “RRR-IIIPPP”. Lo and behold, there was a slit at the back of my pants!

I spent the next few moments in my car, chuckling to myself. I didn’t panic, not for the reason that the split wasn’t a terrible one because it was. But, there was an awesome sense of peace that came over me and a tone of voice telling me to take the morning off and be free from any kitchen work. It wasn’t a loud, firm, male audible voice that spoke, however deep in my heart, I knew that God was speaking to me. He was with me.

So, who says God doesn’t speak to us today anymore? He sure does. Not just through His Word, the Holy Spirit, and other people, but also through everyday life experiences, in various circumstances. Once again, I am reminded of the infinite ways our infinite God speaks into the lives of His loved ones.

Contentment begins in the mind

2008-05-05T15:05:00.000+08:00

I know I have the tendency to become an easily-irritated & discontented person when I start channeling all my focus to my own plans, instead of God’s. Being crabby and frustrated about everything becomes my normal actions, especially when something doesn’t fit quite right with my plans. But, when I start focusing on all that God has done for me again, right down to the nitty-gritty things like having a comfy pillow to sleep on at night, I turn into a more grateful person. My heart and my mind are filled with more peace and joy.

This made me realized one thing- that contentment begins in the mind. It isn’t God who needs to do the changing by adding new things into our life to satisfy our wants before we can feel contented; it is us who needs to do the changing. We need to learn and train our mind to focus on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, like what Paul encourages us to do in Phil 4:8.

Seeing that God’s word is the only source of good, right, and pure things, it hence, becomes fundamental that we make it a discipline to find daily strength from the Bible. It is only as our thoughts become more fixed on God’s word that self-centered thinking starts to fade away.

It is a real challenge to stay committed to reading His Word and communicating with Him daily. But I pray that the Holy Spirit will help me stay true to my commitment. I really want to be like Paul, to learn to be content whatever the circumstances…and to be able to confidently say that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. ~Phil 4:11-13

When all choices seem good

2008-04-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

Here I am, standing at the crossroad in life. Choices are before me and they aren’t just simple choices. These choices will determine my future; my career path. But even after weighing the pros and cons in all of the options I have, I still can’t decide which of these choices will be the better one. They all look pretty good to me.

Sometimes, I wish that I can fully know the consequences of each option in advance so then I can be certain of my future. But, realistically speaking, I know that’s not how God works. For life’s uncertainties is what draws me to continually pray and trust in Him. They keep us from being overly self-confident.

Perhaps the most important choice I can make right now is whether or not I’ll choose to trust in Him, be open and willing to do His will no matter what situation I’ll be in. Life is made up of different seasons and along each season, changes occur. But, I need to remember that each season does not alter my identity in Christ; they only change the circumstances I am in.

A pastor once said,
“When your heart is right and you are faced with two good choices, take either one you like. And trust God with the result. If the heart is willing, the decisions of life will take care of themselves because God will direct your steps exactly where he wants you to be.”

Yes, Lord, just keep me from making foolish decisions and direct me in the right way that I should go. Amen.

Lemonade is sweet & sour

2008-04-15T18:35:00.000+08:00

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”

I came across this phrase while reading an article and it made me grin. I find it quite amusing but it makes sense. It reminded me of James’ words,

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” ~James 1:2-3

Most importantly, it reminded me that joy in the midst of life’s storms is optional. It is a choice; a desire, and a want that I must decide on in spite of my circumstances. This is the way real joy starts- it starts with me making that choice.

Life will continually offer us fresh & free lemons whether we like it or not. So, why not start making lemonade out of them? It will still taste sour-ish, but at least there's some sweetness added to it.

Teaching...

2008-04-07T11:25:00.000+08:00

Teaching is serious business. When you have 26 delicate lives in front of you, the stakes are high; the cost of failure is unimaginable. And sometimes, simply the thought of this just overwhelms me to the extent I think of giving up because I feel incompetent of handling them. What’s more frightening is when pictures of irate parents start popping into mind.

The last two weeks of prac had been pretty draining. Challenges, one after the other, just kept swarming my way, and what’s worst is that they came attached with many impending worries and emotional strains. I’ve felt scared, anxious, angry, annoyed and frustrated at different things, things which most of the times are simply extras. Yet, it does seem impossible to not be overwhelmed by these kinds of feelings, especially when you have kids who just blow you away with their ‘charming’ manners.

Nonetheless, this prac has also been the most enjoyable and fulfilling one I’ve had so far. The lessons that God has taught me through this class of children and teacher are absolutely priceless. He’s taught me how to view each as a good day despite the numerous sticky situations kids will put me into. They may drive me up the wall; they may turn my lessons upside-down, but instead of getting emotionally reactive, I can still choose to let God’s peace reign in my heart by focusing on all the good that is there as well.

Perhaps teaching isn’t so much about making sure children get the lesson content into their heads. Perhaps it’s more about the relationships I have with children- how I relate to them heart to heart; how I let God use me to guide and correct them with love and mercy. Every child that I meet is after all His, and I can’t control the way they behave. Thus, each day, I pray that the Lord will think with my mind, work with my hands, speak with my mouth and love with my heart, so that I may care for these children in the same manner He’s caring for me, that is with great patience and gentleness.

Indeed Lord, at the end of each day, whatever my lot, help me to be able to say, “It is well, it is well, with my soul”.

In loving memory of Grandpa

2008-03-26T11:35:00.000+08:00

I didn’t think I would have any problem carrying on with my day. I thought my heart was already prepared to receive the bad news. But as I sat there in front of my computer, I started to cry. With every force I try to push myself to focus on my work, I cried harder. When I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I just buried my face into my hands and sobbed, hard.

Today, I can only weep as I think of all the little times and conversations I’ve had with grandpa. I know deep down he cared a lot about me, even though he had never once expressed his feelings through words. I know he’d shown me his love in the best way he knew how. I really wish I could see him enjoying my durian cheesecake once more; or even see him eat my date pastries, then telling me that he likes them one more time. But it’s ok. I know he’s gone to dine at the banquet table with the Lord, a much much better table than what he can have here.

I am thankful for how God has spoken to me through Auntie Mina and Pastor Ron too. For a while, I was afraid to cry. I thought that the right thing for me to do was to hold in my tears and not grief since Jesus has promised good news- that whoever believes in Him will live, even though he dies. But both Auntie Mina and Pastor Ron assured me that grief is normal. It’s a feeling that God has instilled in us after all. And while it is true that some people need only a shorter time to go through the grieving process, it is alright if I happen to be one of those who take the longer time. God will still grant relief in times of grief, irregardless of how long I'll need to go through it.

So, I won’t get to see grandpa anymore this year when I go back. I won’t be having any of my dinners with him any longer. Neither will I get a chance to prepare him any more treats. These thoughts still seem unreal to me. But I’ll get through; I’m sure the Lord will help me get through it. And I sincerely pray that He’ll help my family & other grieving ones get through it as well.

Life after death

2008-03-23T01:55:00.000+08:00

If Jesus did not rise up from the dead like He promised, there would be no triumph over death. There will be no life after death. No purpose for enduring sufferings and hardships in this life. No significance in what we work and labour for.

But because Christ’s did exactly as He promised, that is to rise again and then sit at His Father’s right hand in heaven; we can trust that everything He has said is 100% reliable. This means His assurance of eternal life to us is real and certain. We will indeed one day live forever with God in a place that is free from all pain and suffering. Thus, we need not allow the stings in this life discourage us for our faith is built on solid ground.

Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness to me. Thank you for loving me and rescuing me even when I deserve the worst. When at times I feel like just walking away, please remind me of the victory that I have in your cross and resurrection. Grant me your strength and power to swim against the tide in this world.

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

Sucessful in His eyes

2008-03-17T09:07:00.000+08:00

Setbacks, like feelings of failure, are so common nowadays. It plagues even the ones who are serious about their faith. Many times, I struggle accepting mistakes and failures as a way of life. I fall into the Satan’s trap, thinking that I’m a total disappointment when I’ve done something wrong, or when things did not turn out the way I had expected it to be. At other times, I struggle finding satisfaction with myself when I’ve gain no recognition for something I’ve worked hard at.

I believe that it is true to say that the world’s view of success is a suffocating one. It measures success in terms of accomplishments- our wealth, grades, fame, and even beauty. The more you have of these things, the more successful you are. Thus, it becomes so natural for one to be overwhelmed with a sense of failure when these standards are not achieved.

But, I am really thankful God doesn’t define my successful-ness based on what I’ve accomplished or the things that I possess. Whether or not I achieve HD in my assignment; whether or not I am commended by my friends or colleagues; whether or not other people happen to view me as successful, as long as I do my best to follow where He leads me, I am successful. In His eyes, true success is about fulfilling His purposes for my life; the quality of my relationship with Him through Jesus.

Essentially, there is nothing wrong with being well-known or wealthy. Nor, is there anything wrong to have beauty or power. However, it is important to recognize that if anyone needs any of these things to feel significant and complete, then something is definitely off beam. For such things- material & external standards- are far too subjective & superficial. He who defines success based on these terms will only find himself living a life filled with discontentment.

I am still learning how to trust God in His sovereign will and power so that I need not worry about outcomes of future events. Although much effort is required to stand up against the world’s views of success, I thank God for giving me the Holy Spirit, who is always there to help me and remind me that I have a loving Father, who knows what is best for me and will teach me in the right way that I should go.

Balancing humility & self-confidence

2008-03-10T06:28:00.000+08:00

For many, humility is often associated with weakness and incompetence. To this many, humility is pathetic because it will only make one look feeble & frail. Nonetheless, for some, humility is a forte. To this few, much importance is attached to the quality of humility. For they know that it is he, who humbles himself, stripped of pride; and becomes like a little child, simply trusting and dependent on the One, that is considered the greatest in the kingdom of heaven ~Matt 18:4.

But then again, amongst this few, some fail to see the presence of self-confidence in humility. As a result, feelings of inadequacy overwhelm them as soon as the going gets rough. Yes, confidence can lead to arrogance. However, without self-confidence, one can get trapped in Satan's deceptions; when he reminds us of our past failures and limitations, telling us we aren’t good enough or talented enough to do God’s work.

Perhaps true humility can only be generated when one holds a certain honest and realistic amount of self-respect about himself/herself. This means having a true knowledge of our identity according to the One who created us. It means truly believing that we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Eph 2:10). It also means believing that He chose us in Christ before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight (Eph 1:4). Without a sensible and practical view of oneself, one will by no means be able to distinguish and accept their faults as opportunities for improvements in a positive manner.

There is that act of balancing between humility and self-confidence that we are constantly engaged with in our lives. And because it is such a delicate balance, there is no way we can do it on our own. Thus, this act of balancing is also a choice which we have to decide on daily- a choice of making Jesus our source of strength and motivation- that can only be done as we consistently stay in communion with God through our prayer life and His word.

Human support

2008-03-03T11:54:00.000+08:00

Not everyone is able to endure pain alone. Not everyone is strong enough to fight against temptation without help from others. Not everyone can pick up their self-confidence easily and face life struggles unaided. Not everyone is courageous enough to take that first step of faith to find healing- be it for life, body, soul or spirit- without support from people around them.

I am one of them. I am one of those, who cannot take on life challenges single-handedly. But, often times, I still try to make a way out of ruthless situations alone. I’m afraid of troubling others. I’m afraid that I may become too dependant on other people’s support that I start taking advantage of them. Accordingly, I only go to others when I’m really at my worst crossroads.

However, these days, God has been showing me that it is alright to seek human help and support. Jesus did too. That dark night in Gethsemane, as Jesus prayed, He looked to Peter, James and John for prayerful alertness and compassion. Although the disciples failed to support Jesus just as they were told, the main thing that God wanted to teach me was that- if Jesus looked to His disciples for support in His dark hour, how much more we need one another to go through life difficulties.

So, it is ok to seek help. In fact, it is good and in some situations, it may even bring more benefits to the people who are helping us solve our problems. Hence, let us be willing to solicit people for help and support; to pray for us and with us. Also, in turn, let us be alert for opportunities to offer our support to others who are suffering. We truly need each other.

Loving obedience

2008-02-24T04:25:00.000+08:00

What is it that drives you to share God’s Word with others? Is it just because it is a command, a God-given responsibility that you do it? Or do you also sincerely believe it is an honor & privilege to be a witness for Christ?

In one’s walk with God, obedience to His commandments is a must element, a necessity. However, sometimes we are likely to forget that obedience is not just about strict, do-as-you-are-told kind of fixation; for obedience is also about love. As a consequence, we lose the enthusiasm and excitement that we really should have in being an example of the changed life that Christ has begun in us, the better and enriched one.

One should never see love & obedience as separable qualities. Sharing God’s love and forgiveness with others is both a privilege and responsibility that we, Christians, have in Christ Jesus. Thus, as we continue to serve in His ministy, may we work with a loving heart, as well as a "I want to" rather than a "I have to" attitude.

Over-caring

2008-02-18T12:08:00.000+08:00

In caring for others, one must be willing to make sacrifices; sacrifices that are unselfish so that we learn to put others’ needs above our own. Yet, there are times when we may be bringing about more harm than good in learning to say ‘no’ to our own wants and desires.

In our efforts to give the most excellent care possible to the people around us, especially to our loved ones, we may sometimes fall into the snare of sacrificing more than what is required, which then leads to the cultivation of unwholesome & detrimental choices and practices for our body. Soon, we find ourselves growing weary, not only physically, but spiritually and emotionally. Unintentionally, we have neglected our bodily needs and rest.

One must and needs to realize that self-negligence is not the kind of self-sacrificing attitude that God looks for in our service to Him and His people. For in neglecting our bodily needs, we risk shutting down a place in our soul where God's dreams and gifts are waiting to be revealed. In fact, God is more concerned about the work He can do in us than through us. Hence, the best care that we can offer to others can only flow through when we decide to rely on God’s unlimited power to work through us as our power is limited & incomplete.

It is a lesson and reminder I need constantly. I need it because I tend to forget that it is ultimately God’s ministry and work which I’m involved in. I also need it because I tend to forget that He knows what’s best for me and the people around me. Thus, I pray that the Holy Spirit will continually help me, remind me that it is the Father whom I need to turn to first for help and provision for my needs, as well as the needs of others. I truly need His strength and wisdom so that I will not be enslaved by any unnecessary expectations to be perfect.

Prayer for joy

2008-02-05T16:40:00.000+08:00

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
~Psalms 51:10-13~

Indeed Lord, this is my prayer- my prayer for Your joy. Grant me Your grace and strength for each day, that I may live a life that is filled with joy abundance. I want to be like the sun, always shining even when night falls, or even when clouds cover it. May not any bewildering circumstance or experience stop me from smiling, for in You and You alone, can I put my trust. Keep me constant and firm in my commitment to live a Spirit-controlled life, as well as a willing spirit to obey all of Your commandments.
In Jesus’ most precious name, I pray,
Amen.

A cheerful heart

2008-01-29T02:33:00.000+08:00

The condition of one’s heart, whether good or bad, is usually noticeable on the face or through spoken words. In saying this, a heart that is filled with the cheer of the Lord often brings about a glowing & smiling face that doesn’t changes in spite of negative situations. Such is an evidence of Christ-like character- a calm and right attitude, which comes only from humility, contentment & trust in the provision and providence of God.

It is a kind of manner I’ve always yearned for and still am aiming to pursue in my daily life. But sometimes, it is just difficult to lighten up. When unhelpful and discouraging things happen, my heart seems to have a higher tendency to relent to frustrations and worry. Harsh words, unkind treatment, whether self-imposed or inflicted by others, are the kind of things that triggers fears in my heart; fears that that prevent me from radiating God’s joy.

In instances like these, I have to keep reminding myself that “a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Prov 17:22). I have to look to God for His grace to rekindle cheerfulness in my heart and strength to help me sustain joy in the midst of challenging situations. Above all, I have to remind myself that to have a cheerful heart is a choice I have to make. It is my decision to make, to whether I want to persevere or quit; to forgive or resent.

Someone once said to me that it is absolutely absurd to have a joyless Christian, and I have to agree with that. Hence, I pray that God will continually help me make it a habit to be contented over my work and cheerful about my duties. May my heart and soul consistently find delight in Him and not be given to weary murmurings.

Fruit of the Spirit

2008-01-22T08:34:00.000+08:00

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. GALATIANS 5:22-23

One fruit, but nine flavours; nine quality virtues. No where on earth can you find a man who can plant a tree which can bear such unique a fruit. It is a marvelous and divine fruit; a fruit that can only be produced by the Holy Spirit. It springs not from any ordinary seed because the excellence of this fruit springs from an incorruptible seed of internal grace; the seed that is planted in any one the moment Christ is made at home in his/her heart.

The best tree that any one can ever find is probably this tree- the tree that bears the fruit of the Sprit, since this fruit gives an excellent description of Christ’s character. For us as believers, to bear this fruit would mean yielding our lives to become more and more like Christ; to allow Christ to bring out the full sweetness of His life in us.

However, like any other trees, the soil will influence the kind of fruit the tree will bear because the soil is the one which gives nutrient to the tree. Hence, one’s life can only yield good fruits if his/her life is planted in luxuriant and fertile soil, which in this case, is the soil of Christ. Also, unless one allow God to pull out the weeds of self-will that choke the full growth of the tree, the goodness & sweetness of His fruit cannot ripen to its best.

I do hope that my life will continue to bear more fruit of the Spirit. I want to be able to grow in His goodness and grace without any inward hindrances; any weeds of selfish desires. Nonetheless, like mentioned earlier, bearing His spiritual fruit cannot be resulted by self-effort alone. Given that the fruit is of the Holy Spirit, it is not possible to grow by just trying harder without letting the Holy Spirit to work in our lives. We need to stay connected to the Source, abiding in Him so that the closer we grow to the Source, the more complete our lives will be.

“Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape”

2008-01-16T01:05:00.000+08:00

We plan; we organize, because we know that time is a precious gift. However, there is that danger of falling into a tightly scheduled plan where flexibility is no longer an asset we value. Accordingly, one will often find himself/herself frustrated when plans get thwarted by unwanted or unexpected occurrences.

But sometimes, changes to our original plan book may not be a bad thing at all. Perhaps God is leading us to love someone in need. Perhaps God has some special lessons He wants to teach us as we go through certain experiences which we least intend. Perhaps He’s teaching us how to be dependant upon Him not only in the great turns of our lives, but in every step we take.

I believe that keeping a habit of planning is good, for it helps keep one’s time manageable and disciplined. Nonetheless, I also believe that flexibility is crucial as we plan to live a totally surrendered life to God. For flexibility helps us keep an open & positive attitude, which frees us from the desire to control every moment and plans of our own. It teaches us to put God’s will before ours; saying, “If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that” (James 4:15).

Ultimately, there isn’t really such a thing as interruptions in a God-planned life, is there? It is He who is in full control of the ordering of all the affairs in our lives. As Pro 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps”. Thus, let us learn to be sensitive to God's leading in executing our well-laid plans, so that with sincere humility, we can be trained to walk in His direction.

Being strong & courageous

2008-01-08T14:29:00.000+08:00

The life of a Christian is perhaps the most demanding of all in terms of courage. Especially in a world that is so hostile towards the Word of God, one who truly yearns to reside the way of Christ probably needs the most courage to live.

As Christians, we are called to be different; to stand against the tide. We are continuously challenged to live outside our comfort zone, while at the same time remain faithful in our commitment to Christ. As such, sacrifice and pain are indispensable as we strive to live justly for God and uphold His commandments in loving Him and others. Concurrently, there is always that sense of fear within us, be it towards something or someone, that tries to hinder us from following our heart and God’s calling to the best of our capability.

I know that most of the times, I fear the pain that will befall me, knowing that hardships are inescapable as a Christian. It is not so much about the physical pain I’m afraid of, but the emotional pains and mental struggles that I will have to confront. Nonetheless, I am reminded that such trials are necessary to bring one to spiritual maturity. Plus, it is only in painful situations that virtues of a courageous spirit be made evident. For if an act is devoid of pain, why would courage still be needed?

In all the coming seasons of my life, I pray that by God’s grace, I will find courage to face whatever new fears and concerns that I will have to deal with. Courage, after all, isn't the absence of fear, but rather, it is the commitment to continue standing firm for Him regardless of the cost and circumstance.

Welcoming 2008

2008-01-01T08:45:00.000+08:00

Everyone seems so excited to usher in the New Year. I simply love their enthusiasm. There are more smiles and joyful looks on people’s faces, and for a brief moment, I felt as if all the problems, heartaches and struggles in the old year, be it theirs or mine, have disappeared; a discolored memory. No feelings of regret or guilt of what has happened; only eagerness to start a new year, a new start, a fresh beginning.

It reminded me of what Paul said, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). In spite of all the failures that we’ve had, we have to and can only move forward; there is no room for backward moves.

For the world, the celebration of the new year is merely another huge money-making holiday event, but personally, I want it to be something more than that. I want it to be a time where I renew my dedication to God once more. I know for sure that the new year will definitely present me with many demanding and challenging times again, and to be honest, I am afraid to think about them. Nonetheless, I just want to remember all that He has done in faithfully seeing me through the past year and find assurance in His promises.

After all, God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." This promise is probably more than enough to celebrate the new year ahead with full assurance and joy. So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" ~Hebrews 13:5,6

The best birthday ever

2007-12-27T15:45:00.000+08:00

My 21st was perhaps the best one in this whole wide world. The entire day and night was filled with so many pre-planned surprises and I just cannot find enough words to express my gratitude to all of you who made this day so special for me.

To my brothers,
I am moved to tears by the effort you two made in planning for this whole surprise, even weeks before my birthday. Thank you so much for ALL that you two have done, especially for contacting and bringing many of my Perth & BP friends together for this celebration. You two certainly made me feel like I was on the top of the world.

To my Perth friends,
Thank you all for your well wishes and kind thoughts too. Especially to Uncle Eng Chuan, Auntie Marilyn, Nicole, Esther & Debs, thank you for coming all the way up to BP to make my day a truly exceptional one. You all sure did make me feel like a princess for the day and I can’t thank you all enough for that.

To my BP friends,
You guys did a really good job in keeping this a secret from me. In spite of the many outings and conversations we’ve had over the last few weeks, I never once suspected that something was going on. Even though some of you couldn’t be here with me, your SMS-es and calls have already shown your warm sincerity. Thank you all very much for your gifts, kind thoughts, and most of all, allowing me to be part of your life…this includes you, Yong Hwee.
*A special note to Ah Liang: I’m so sorry that my 21st had to go on without you. But, we can still think of something else together when you get back ya. I also want to say a big thank you to you for surprising me with your yummy yam jelly. Thank you for getting your mum to make it and sending it over to my place.

To my parents,
I never imagined that you two could have been such good secret-keepers. =P Thank you both for not only being supportive of the whole event, but also for being supportive of me all my life thus far. You two loved me all the way, right from the very moment I was brought into this world and I know for sure you two will still love me to the end no matter what. If mums and dads were flowers, you two would be the very ones I’ll pick.

To my heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for your grace & mercy, as well as your unconditional & unfailing love in seeing me through the past 21 years of my life. Thank you also for bringing such a devoted family and circle of friends into my life. You have brought so many special people to bless me at different times throughout the various seasons of my life, and I am extremely grateful for that.

There are so many more of you out there I want to thank, more than ever those of you who took the effort to make the long-distance/overseas calls and messages, just to wish me a happy birthday…you guys know who you are. =)

Thank you, everyone, for making my birthday so special!

A Christmas prayer

2007-12-25T17:25:00.000+08:00

A truly stirring prayer that sums up just all that I desire for this Christmas:

"May you be filled with the wonder of Mary, the obedience of Joseph, the joy of the angels, the eagerness of the shepherds, the determination of the magi, and the peace of the Christ child. Almighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit bless you now and forever."

Letting things be simple

2007-12-18T08:45:00.000+08:00

…Some ways indeed are very odd
By which we hail the birth of God.

We raise the price of things in shops,
We give plain boxes fancy tops
And lines which traders cannot sell
Thus parcell'd go extremely well
We dole out bribes we call a present
To those to whom we must be pleasant
For business reasons. Our defense is
These bribes are charged against expenses
And bring relief in Income Tax
Enough of these unworthy cracks!
'The time draws near the birth of Christ'.
A present that cannot be priced
Given two thousand years ago
Yet if God had not given so
He still would be a distant stranger
And not the Baby in the manger.
~ excerpt from Advent 1955 by John Betjeman

How true that our reasons for giving especially this Christmas season can get easily mixed up with motives and focus besides Jesus. We spend extravagantly to make presents, food, and decorations as attractive as possible so that our guests will be pleased. Then they go home, remembering only the contentment of enjoying these apparent, insignificant things.

Tonight, dad & mum are going to have guests over for an evangelistic Christmas dinner. I’m helping mum prepare the food- roast, wine, desserts. But as much as we want the guests to enjoy the meal, we are trying to keep things simple too. We would rather these guests go home with a greater memory of the sharing and testimonies they will hear of God’s love than the tastiness of food. We sincerely pray that they will openly accept the gift of Jesus. May all glory and esteem be given to Him and His alone.

The Serenity Prayer

2007-12-10T12:38:00.000+08:00

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things I can;

And, the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

This prayer has been stuck as a magnet on my fridge for years, but I never really took notice of it till now. Perhaps I never saw suffering or hardships the way I see it now- an essential part of a Christian walk- thus, the prayer did not seem as real and meaningful to me like now.

Indeed Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I want to be able to live one day at a time, enjoying each moment. After all, you know what’s best for me. So, do tune my heart that I may willingly and thankfully receive whatever you give me in life. Wherever you place me, every moment & every condition, may I learn to view things from your perspective and depend on your instructions & teachings; counsel & guidance.

Grant me too, dear Lord, the courage to take the necessary actions that can strengthen my walk with you. Even though these actions may sometimes seem unpleasant to me, I pray for your strength to enable me to do them. Last but not least, I pray for your wisdom, so that I may know the difference between Your truths about life and illusions of the Evil one.

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

Conflicting natures

2007-12-04T06:05:00.000+08:00

It’s truly not easy to want to do what is right. Like Paul, we can will it, but we can't do it. We decide to do good, but we don't really do it. We decide not to do bad, but then we do it anyway. Our good intentions usually don't result in actions. Such is the conflict between grace and corruption in the heart of a renewed sanctified soul. ~Romans 7:17-25

Perhaps like me, you have been struggling with an attitude or a habit that you know is wrong, and you decided that you want to change. Yet after a while, you find yourself right back where you first started. Then, you start feeling frustrated and angry at yourself for not trying harder, especially when your actions unintentionally hurt the people whom you love dearly.

However, it is in those times that I am reminded that I need something more than just my own effort and strength. I need to rely on Jesus’ promises and have faith in them so that I can find strength to fight against life-destructive thoughts and habits. We will always be in a battle against temptations and negative thoughts, but we need not give in to them. There is so much better things which we can consciously focus on in their place - thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable; anything that is excellent or praiseworthy ~Phil. 4:8-9.

In God, there is always hope to change even if the struggle have been the same issue for a long time. Nonetheless, we are reminded too, that a changed life does not come instantaneously, for recovery is a step-by-step process. I only pray that in the process of recovery, I will not lose fixing my eyes on Jesus.

God's comforting peace

2007-11-26T08:15:00.000+08:00

I thank God that He promises to keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is stayed on Him, because he trusts in Him~ Isaiah 26:3

Even at times, when reaching out for His peace seem quite impossible in such a crazy, chaotic world, I thank Him that that the peace that He gives isn’t like the peace the world gives~ John 14:27. The peace that He promises does not come in the absence of danger, but in His presence. And, it is in His very presence that my heart has often found comfort and assurance.

Nonetheless, it is only as we keep our minds and thoughts centered on Him that we are able to summon peace for every situation. Perhaps that’s why it is important and essential read the Word daily; rejoice always, pray without ceasing and in everything give thanks, for these disciplines help us grow in our consciousness of Him, our connection with Him, & our confidence in Him.

Dear Lord,
I thank you for your faithfulness to me and your everlasting promises. I thank you that you provide peace that transcends all understanding. Help me to daily learn how to commit my works to you so that my thoughts can be established by you.
In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

Hope is...

2007-11-19T08:45:00.000+08:00

“In your hearts, set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have…” ~1 Pet 3:15

So, what do you think hope is, little ones?
· “It is looking forward to something with a feeling of expectation or confidence”. ~Will, 10
· “Hope is practical. It means talking to God every day expecting an answer. It means having Jesus to talk to. It means being satisfied with what God has given you”. ~Justin, 10
· “It is like the feeling of Christmas. It makes you feel kind of good inside, sort of like you’re going to get a gift”. ~David, 9

There is so much I want to learn from these children. Their answers are simple, yet profound. Indeed, every day can be like Christmas morning for us, but only if our hopes are driven and controlled by God. Why? Because it is possible for the Evil one to control our hopes- making us excited and eager for new things- except he directs our hopes towards worthless and sinful things.

Hope is also more than keeping a positive mental attitude in the midst of negative situations, for genuine hope is based on the Bible. Real hope, true assurance, comes from knowing God’s promises for us both to this life and that which is to come. Additionally, hope comes through faith, believing that He is faithful to keep all His promises. On the other hand, a mere positive mental attitude, which is usually characterized by repeated positive confessions, may only lead us to believe in our self, rather than in God’s ability to work all things out for the good of those who love him.

“Hope is God's gift to us," says Amal, 10. Yes, God’s gift of hope to us came in the form of a person, Jesus Christ. He is the sum and substance of it. I don’t know how this works, but you just have to believe it- that in as much as Jesus is the ground & foundation of the eternal hope that we can have, He is also the end result of that glorious hope.

A simple response

2007-11-12T11:11:00.000+08:00

In times of storm, I believe that Jesus is calling me to step out of the boat and not look at the wind & the waves, but to just keep my focus on Him because only He can enable me to walk on water. In any case, His dominion and sovereignty surpass all other things. As such, it relates to a freeing and humble attitude that willingly leaves the results in God's hands while waiting, yielded and still.

But then again, most of the times, my surrendering to God comes at a snail’s pace. More often than not, it happens after I’m tired of groaning and moaning or, after I’ve spent much time outlining a problem and then, realize “Hmmph, I really can’t figure this out myself”.

I want that gradual & eventual surrender to turn into an immediate & spontaneous surrender. I want to be able to trust God to take care of my daily concerns. If I can trust Him with eternal issues- knowing for sure that my inheritance is secured in heaven, then I want to be able to trust in Him with earthly, everyday issues too.

As difficult as that can be, I pray that God will help me do so.

The gift of sleep

2007-11-06T03:04:00.000+08:00

“It is useless to rise up early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don't you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?” ~Psalm 127:2

Yes, I do know. I know that God enjoys giving rest to those he loves, but somehow, I’d lost my grip on that true meaning of rest. Countless nights, I lie awake on my bed with to-do list for the next day replaying itself over and over again in my mind. Before I realize it, fear starts filling the gaps of uncertainties. Eventually, I will fall asleep, but it is not as comfortable as I hope it would be. My body doesn’t even seem fully refreshed the next morning.

For a while now, I’ve struggled with getting a good rest at night. I tend to sleep late and wake up early. For many, this is diligence- stretch yourself, work hard & long if you want to succeed. I was starting to think that way too, until few mornings ago, God gave me a wake-up call through the verse above.

It is vain, totally worthless, for me to rise up early and sit up late, and so deny myself of the bodily refreshment that I need. No doubt, hard work pleases the Lord; however, my working to the restriction of rest will be nothing more than just a cover-up for my inability to trust Him to provide for my needs.

Sleep, even bodily sleep, is God's gift to his beloved. Yet, we often times lose this precious gift to the devil- in fears, worries & anxieties. It is more than just a physical act of lying down on the bed and cuddling our favourite blanket since our spiritual body is attached to our physical one. Our spiritual body needs to find rest & contentment in the Sovereignty of God first, believing by faith that what the Bible says is true regardless of our present circumstances; before we can find the physical rest our body yearns for.

Jesus slept in the middle of the hurly-burly storm at sea. He let the waves rock him to sleep. He shows us what it really means to sleep long & soundly; and that is to place our trust not in our own strength and hard work, but in Him without whom we labor in vain.

Thank you, dear Lord, for showing me this precious truth.

His faithfulness endures forever

2007-11-02T09:50:00.000+08:00

You know, in times of difficulties, when my faith seem to be at the weakest point, I am so, so glad that He doesn’t just brush me aside and make me go through them alone. He patiently waits for me to come back to Him; to recognize His awesome and powerful presence in my life again. No matter how long or where I am, He unwearyingly waits for me to wake up to the fact that He is with me and have a refreshing conversation with Him.

God said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." ~Hebrews 13:5

I believe Him.
I believe that until the very end of my days,
He will have me and hold me;
Encourage me, support me;
Counsel me, advise me;
Guide me, direct me;
Protect me, defend me;
Prosper me, succeed me.
Whether in good times or bad times,
In sickness or in health,
In laugher or in tears,
I believe that He will be by my side…always.

Endurance over escape

2007-10-23T01:15:00.000+08:00

The most proper way to live is still God’s way. Yet, His way can also be the harshest and toughest way of all, especially when existence circumstances seem to choke you unsympathetically and leave you breathless through it all.

May God’s promise of eternal kingdom & glory be not the reason I seek to escape this life; but rather, let it be the reason I learn to endure this life.

Happy birthday, You Shen

2007-10-15T13:45:00.000+08:00

Happy 19th b'thday to a very much-loved lil' bro...

No doubt he can be quite a headache at times, but somehow, I always feel comfortable and safe with his company. I guess I really love him a lot, truly and deeply.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing Him into my life. May this birthday of his be just the beginning of another year for You to fill with abundant blessings, wonderful moments, and shining glory.

Amen.

Being nice & loving

2007-10-10T13:48:00.000+08:00

People may be unreasonable, or illogical and self-centered, but we are to love them anyway because love never settles only for what’s reasonable and logical. It insists on being merciful and gracious. It encourages us to make the first step in showing loving kindness to others; after all, it is not so concerned with the eye-for-an-eye and tooth-for-a-tooth kind of fair loving. Sounds like what nice people would usually do, doesn’t it?

However, there is a difference between being nice and being loving. Modern communication tells us that it is all about being ‘nice’. Though it values truth, it only goes as far as it allows us to feel good about ourselves. We are highly encouraged to never use words that would cause other people to feel offended. Thus, truth becomes our enemy at any point it threatens to hurt someone's feelings.

Any one who is honest enough will find that too many a times, we tend to sacrifice truths to keep a ‘nice’ and ‘friendly’ image towards others. I know I have. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, I have purchased friendships and loyalty before by blinking at lies and deceit. I have done nice things simply for the sake of winning the approval from those I excuse. Nonetheless, in actual fact, being ‘nice’ at the expense of being truthful is just a selfish act of love.

I believe that any one who is willing to risk all costs for the sake of truth and to suffer for the sake of others is a genuine friend. Hence, I pray that God will continually teach me how to be nice to people, but not at the expense of being truthful. At the same time, I pray that I will be humble enough to let others convey truth to me so that I can change for the better.

When silence isn't golden

2007-10-02T01:53:00.000+08:00

Are we truly being transparent that others see us as we are, with no pretense? Do we allow people to speak into our lives and give us godly advice for right living? Maybe we’re too proud to learn from others, or maybe we’re afraid of getting hurt if others see the vulnerable side of us; that’s why many a times, we aren’t showing people who we really are- our genuine being.

Perhaps it’s time we start getting real with ourselves. We need to be honest with ourselves and with God in acknowledging our weaknesses and vulnerability. We need to be honest with others too, and be willing to let others into our lives, so that we need not struggle with life challenges on our own, especially when we’re in the midst of trying to break off from a sinful habit. Such secrets will only keep us stranglehold of the sinful habits in our lives.

Perhaps we should stop playing church and truly be the church. We have too often times engage in only small-talks and telling each other how nice we look Sunday after Sunday, and maybe we really need to start making the effort to get down with more serious stuff like being accountable, vulnerable, transparent, and ever-willing to speak the truth with love & courage anytime God prompts us to.

Silence may be the key solution in many instances of our lives, but it isn’t always the case is it, since honest talks cannot be stirred out of silence. It won’t be easy getting honest-being real, genuine & sincere, whether with God or with men. However, we can be sure that after the process of honesty, purging and cleansing, comes the purifying, filling, renewal & revival of the heart. This is His promise.

Being there

2007-09-25T08:10:00.000+08:00

I have to admit that at times, I struggle to give people my full attention when I truly ought to, especially when I’m with the people I love. I make sure I lay aside a certain amount of time to spend with them, yet occasionally, in the midst of spending time with them, I find my mind drifting off to the future, planning about what needs to be done next and how I am going to do it.

I want to be able to focus on the present, to make each moment count not only for myself, but for others and most importantly, for God. But then, I have this tendency of falling into the trap of getting too caught up with doing things that I start losing the sensitivity I should have towards other’s needs. I know clearly, that while some of the activities on my to-do list may be good and fine, I should never let them interfere with God’s plans.

Maybe you’re like me; we sometimes struggle being really there for the ones we love. We struggle to empathize with them, or even share in their joy because we let the noise of empty worries clutter our ears & heart. The only solution to our problem is to trade all our activities for His priorities, every single day; more than ever, first thing in the morning. As Mathew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you”.

Being a godly Christian is not about being a Superman or a Superwoman by the world’s standards. Rather, it is about being a humble and teachable person, who is sensitive to the supernatural leading of the Holy Spirit. No doubt that we will still have many tasks that we need to accomplish, but maybe we can learn to prioritize our to-do list, complete what we can and let God deal with the rest. If they have to wait, then so be it.

Every activity needs to be evaluated and re-evaluated in light of the Kingdom’s agenda, for the influence that we should leave on others should be one of love and attention, not on completed task list- this is the true essence of being there for the ones you love.

Everything to God in prayer

2007-09-18T23:54:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord, help me learn to make prayer my life. Make my life a prayerful one too, for I do not want to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I want to present all of my heart’s desires to You. I need Your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard my heart & mind in Christ Jesus.

Living a life of total surrender to You is not easy at all. The desire to take control of my own life, to set my own agendas, and sometimes, even the agendas of others, is so strong deep inside me. But, the weight of these worries and thoughts are too heavy for me to carry; they only lead me to distress and anxieties.

So, please do come and take Your rightful place in my life, dear Lord, the center of my life. Only You can help me overcome disappointments with new beginnings and an everlasting friendship. Only You can make my burdens sweet and strengthening. Help me to always have the desire to seek You and to make Your throne, not the phone, my first approach whenever I feel troubled.

In Jesus name, I pray,
Amen.

“O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer”

Read & Pray

2007-09-11T04:15:00.000+08:00

It kinda dawned upon me this morning how equally important both the act of praying and reading God’s Word are in keeping our spiritual body in shape. We can’t just give our full attention to one and neglect the other; we need a balance between the both.

If we merely spend time reading the Bible daily but don’t spend time in prayer, what good is it? The mind can be developed with the knowledge of God, but without prayer, the heart will still stay cold and hard. On the other hand, what good is it if we only spend time in prayer but don’t spend time reading the Bible? Without reading the Bible, we have no knowledge of God and hence, no understanding of His will in our lives. Thus, praying without knowing the Bible will only lead us to pray inconsistently to His will.

A marathon runner needs both regular training and a nutritious diet to keep up with his physical fitness. Likewise, we need to pray regularly and feed on God’s Word to keep our spiritual body in shape. Prayer is our form of exercise for the strengthening of our soul, while the Word of God is what gives us the essential nutrients for our spiritual growth. Both are necessary to help us stand strong and courageous in our spiritual battles against the evil one.

As Christians, the marathon we’re in is a pretty challenging one for there are many hurdles which we will have to cross along the way. For some of us, the marathon could perhaps be a little longer than others’. But no matter how tough or how long it’s going to be, let’s not give up along the way. Christ has already won the victory for us. It is just a matter of time before we truly get to taste that victorious win one day.

The utmost pursuit

2007-09-04T10:19:00.000+08:00

Yes, no doubt you are very capable. You manage your time well. You lead bible studies, you teach in Sunday School and you coordinate prayer meetings. Even in planning and organizing events, you are efficient. You bear much more responsibilities compared to others because of your high level of competence.

But, honestly, have you taken time to stop and consider whether you are pursuing your own agendas in some way as you do His work? Are you sure it is God that you are pursuing and not ministry? Do you still feel good about yourselves even when things on your to-do list have not been accomplished?

Sometimes, in the midst of our pursuit for success in ministry, we tend to forget that the one thing God cares about most is our pursuit of Jesus. Those dreams and plans we have may just be out of pure and simple desires to want to do great things for Him, but there are times when we let activities and busyness cloud our minds that we start losing our focus on Jesus.

God never is in a hurry to fulfill His dreams. As much as He would like to see us put our abilities and talents to good use, He doesn’t want impatience to get the better hold of us either. We need to realize that His ultimate dream for you & I, is to become more like Jesus each day. It is when we learn to embrace this dream and make Christ all that we long for, seek after, love and adore, that all the desires of our hearts will come to pass.

I’m glad that God never ever tries to think that He’s like us, nor does He let our agenda and expectations thwart His plans of what He wants us to be like. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if God changes the plans He already has for me. He knows me so much better than I know myself- my needs, my wants, my wishes, my everything! He knows me perfectly inside out & upside down; and He’s got just the right plan to let me enjoy the fullness of life. All I need to do is to surrender my all to Him and then, patiently look forward to see how He will grow me as a result.

Story of a Cracked Pot

2007-08-25T03:50:00.000+08:00

A water bearer in India had two large pots; each hung on each end of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots, full of water in his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "For the past two years, I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value for your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Our lives are quite similar to that cracked pot. We are imperfect and broken; and at times, our sins and failures can really discourage us so badly that we feel like worthless nobodies. We then long for a fresh start, a new beginning. And what do we do? We strive hard to do more good works, thinking that somehow those good works can compensate our past. That’s legalism; definitely not God’s way of personal revival. However, that’s just our human nature, isn’t it? It seems so natural for us to lapse back into legalism every now and again, thinking that that is the right way of achieving His acceptance and blessings once again.

God wants to send a revival into our hearts, but He doesn’t need a clean heart to do that. All He needs is a contrite heart. A contrite heart may be grieving as a result of sin’s consequences, but at the same time, it knows that the only way it can be revived and refreshed again is by going humbly to God’s throne of grace for only He can fill, satisfy and mend the broken heart.

We should perhaps quit worrying about what we’re not and just give God what we are. No matter how cracked up we are, I am convinced that He has the power to mend every single cracks we have, but that’s if we will let Him. Think about this- it is because we’re imperfect that God has something to work with. Plus, it is only through cracks that light can begin to shine through.

Embracing forgiveness

2007-08-16T00:53:00.000+08:00

Time and time again, we read of God’s boundless grace & mercy. We know that because of Christ, we are safe from all condemnation of our sins, as if they had not been committed at all. God deliberately remove them so that they cannot affect us any more; so that we need not feel guilty for our past sins. Yet, we all struggle at times to accept His forgiveness. Deep within our hearts we struggle to forgive ourselves even thought we believe that we have total forgiveness for our sins in Jesus Christ.

I don’t know about you, but I know I struggle a lot with self-forgiveness. Guilt is truly a strong emotion that if we’re not careful, we can allow it to outshine the great, or u can say gargantuan, gift of pardon and restoration that God freely provides. His mercy & grace is so great that there are no boundaries at all, infinite. However, we tend to think that our past actions are so terrible that God cannot forgive us, and that is, as a matter of fact, a tragic error.

It is also possible that sometimes we get so blinded by the outcome of our sins that the feeling of guilt stays alive in our minds. The negative consequences we bear as a result of our mistakes prevent us from fully understanding and receiving the miracle of divine forgiveness. The miracle of God’s forgiveness is that, with His help, we can be forgiven even though we still remember our past sins. Forgetting should probably never be a test of whether our sins are forgiven since lessons from our past sins are to be remembered.

Each of us is a valuable child of His. We mean the world to Him. We are deeply loved and precious to Him. That’s why we have the liberty of grace; the liberty of His glory; the freedom from fears of condemnation and guilt. He doesn’t want us to be haunted by insults or the damning effects of our sins. Neither does He want us to look down on ourselves and feel unworthy. What He wants is for us to bear in mind that our value doesn’t spring from our own feelings, but from His. He says that we are valuable and that should be enough. This is the truth.

Giving our best for the benefit of all

2007-08-13T14:33:00.000+08:00

It sometimes can be quite frustrating when children don’t seem to do the work that they are supposed to do. Well, of course, if it’s a fun activity or game that they are asked to participate in, they will be more than willing to do so. But, when “less fun” responsibilities are given to them, all of a sudden, you lose them; you lose their cooperation.

When situations like this arise, I feel sorry for those children who seem to be trying their best to carry out the task given to them even though they may not particularly be interested in it, especially when it’s a group work. It just isn’t fair that some are putting in their best effort while others are idling and uncooperative. At times, I feel like punishing these kids, but then again, it’s quite worrying to punish them in order to get them motivated.

I guess it is the same in the body of Christ. The body of Christ is composed of different parts and each part has a responsibility to perform. All of us are the different parts which make up that body and if each of us do not do the things that we are supposed to, the body cannot function as well as it ought to be. Even if we do acknowledge our responsibilities, yet do them out of reluctance and half-heartedness, our attitude and actions will still be reflecting the total opposite of God’s nature. Plus, it does seem unjust too, if one is striving for the best, while others are contented with anything less than that.

We all have the same goal; we live in the same family. However, perhaps every now and then, we need to ask ourselves how well we are contributing to the body, for we need to jog our memory a bit to bear in mind that all our actions, be it in words, thoughts or deeds, reflect not only upon our individual self, but also upon our Heavenly Father.

We probably should start realizing that we are all indeed part of the same team, same family, one body, His body, so that we can begin to leave a lasting positive impact on the people around us. We may be plainly different people, but all are needed for the nourishment of the whole.

The lesson behind the pain

2007-08-06T02:45:00.000+08:00

It is quite a painful lesson to learn from but, I can’t blame anyone or anything on something I’d done wrong myself. I can’t blame God either, because I know He doesn’t cause suffering. In His eyes, the car accident wasn’t an unexpected mishap; He knew it would happen. But, He allowed it to happen for certain reasons, reasons that I may not fully comprehend, but enough to know that it is for good reasons.

Now looking back to that fateful night, that night was perhaps the worst that I have ever experienced. As I was brought into the hospital and with the pain hitting me with great intensity, it was quite impossible to not think about death. At that moment, the danger of death seemed so close, but I was helpless to defend myself against it. I began to understood more why the Bible calls death the greatest enemy.

I wonder if God wanted to teach me a lesson on death. Death is as real as life, and ignoring it does not change it. So often, we choose to disregard the thought of death because it causes grief & heartaches; it can also suddenly disrupt the lives of our loved ones. But, perhaps God doesn’t want us to refuse thinking about death. To overlook death is to escape the reality of life.

Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Numbering our days doesn’t mean to arithmetically count the number of days we have to live for it’s not possible. However, it does mean to seriously consider the shortness of our days and to consider our latter end, what will become of us after we leave this world because thinking about death can teach us more about the value of life. It is because of Him that value is added to our lives and it is only in Him alone that we can find the most definite and secure answer for death.

Over the last few days, I had been scared and fearful, angry and frustrated at myself, but I thank God for walking with me. He knew very well how I felt and yet, He listened graciously to all my frustrations. He knows what it’s like to suffer and that’s why He was there to comfort me. He also gave me a caring family and a loving group of friends who have been continually accompanying, encouraging and praying for me. All their love and company kept my heart warm as they shared the pain with me too. So, thank you all for your love and support. I know some of you would have loved to come keep me company, but cannot. That's ok. The sincerity from your SMS-es and calls already speaks a lot of your concern and care for me. =)

The pain is not totally gone, but I'm feeling much better now. I believe that God is still working to piece all the broken pieces left to create something stronger than before. After all, He has taken my anger and slowly replacing it with peace; He has taken my fear and slowly transforming it into confidence; He has taken my anxieties and slowly turning it into hope; He is keeping His promise by not giving me more than what I can bear. More so, He is meeting all my needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Eight Random Facts

2007-07-23T11:55:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Dan.

1) Each player must post these rules first.
2) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3) People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Serene’s Eight Random Facts

1. Her worst enemy is beansprouts. There’s very, very little hope that she’ll ever grow to love it.

2. Two of her most favourite drinks are limau-ice and coffee.

3. She finds herself loving Rusk’s baby biscuits even more as she grows older. It’s her all-time favourite biscuits.

4. She’s got a high tendency to fall asleep while watching a movie on a DVD player. Thus, she seldom finish watching a movie at one go.

5. She’s not a sweet-tooth person. If you happen to see her going for sweet things like chocolates and cakes occassionally, it’s one of those times when she suddenly has the craving for sweet stuff.

6. She must have a blanket or at least a large towel to cover her when she sleeps at night. Sometimes, she’ll play with the corners of her blanket before she sleeps.

7. She likes keeping photos as beautiful memories of who and where she has been.

8. She washes her hair everyday. Somehow, she will feel uncomfortable going to bed at night if she miss out on her daily hair wash.

Now, I tag:
Chia Rho
Deborah

Kristi
Sarah
Selena
Symeon
Wan Ching
Yong Hwee

The Lord's Supper

2007-07-23T08:15:00.000+08:00

From being His enemies, we became His friends. Once, we were destined for hell, but now, we are destined for heaven. No longer do we live in the dark for we now have the Light. No longer are we under the wrath of God, but under His love & grace. All these goodness, only made possible because He died. Christ death on the cross made all the difference there is between eternity in hell and in Heaven.

On the night Jesus was betrayed, He took bread, and gave thanks, and broke it, and gave to them, saying, "This is My Body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of Me". Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you" (Luke 22:19-20).

Thank you, dear Lord, for Your grace to allow me to partake of this sacred meal of Yours. You remind me that there is forgiveness for all my sins. You remind me that above all things, You love me unconditionally. You remind me that I was bought with a price, a truly costly one. That’s why You want me to glorify You with my body, my spirit, my soul; my all. However, sometimes, I tend to be forgetful and thus, I forget all that the great things You have done for me.

You knew this would happen, didn’t You. You knew that there will be times when I will allow myself to be pre-occupied with the things that are of no eternal value. That’s why you designed the Lord’s supper, so that whenever I eat and drink from your table, I will remember who I am in Christ. Every time I come to your table, You want me to carefully examine myself and let You cleanse me from all self-centeredness. Indeed Lord, “Only one life, 'twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last”. May I never forget this Lord; don’t let this phrase depart from my mind. Rather, let it be the conviction of my heart all the days of my life.

Amen.

Way to go, teeth!

2007-07-17T12:15:00.000+08:00

After one and a half years, I finally got my wisdom teeth out! All four of them, they're gone! What a relief!

It's been five days now since the surgery on the 12th, but it still hurts a bit. Nonetheless, if you ask me whether I regretted getting them out all at once, I would still say "NEVER!" I am so so glad that I got it all done at once that I can fly to the moon! I rather suffer all the pain once, than have it separated into two different occasions.

This will definitely be one of those unforgetable experiences which I will never forget. I'm now left with 26 teeth, but don't underestimate them; they are pretty strong and hardy. They will definitely make up for all my other lost teeth. =P

Feelings & emotions

2007-07-16T04:20:00.000+08:00

You are walking down a small narrow street and suddenly, a little girl embraces your leg to beg for money. The sight of this young child in dirty clothes and teary eyes makes you want to pick her up in your arms. She holds out a small cup to you, waiting in hope for a few coins to be dropped into the cup. You feel sorry for her; your heart cries out to her. Out of sympathy, you pull out a 10 dollar note and give it to her.

Then, just as you are about to turn at the next corner, you pause to take a look back at the girl one last time. To your horror, you see her pulling out a stack of money notes from the back of her pants. All of a sudden, you no longer feel as sorry for her anymore. You feel cheated and angry. Why the sudden change of emotion? Why don’t you feel as sorry for her anymore?

I think our feelings and emotions have the ‘information’ element that influences the way we react to the things happening around us. In a way, our feelings and emotions are conditioned by the information & knowledge we have about the way of life, and also our beliefs. In the situation above, you found out an extra bit of information about the girl just as you were about to walk away, and that made all the difference in the way your feelings responded.

Thus, it becomes crucial for us to have the right information and knowledge in our mind to respond in the right manner as we can sometimes make ourselves feel better emotionally even with the wrong information. I have learnt that ultimately, I still need to look to God for that right information for He is the source of all knowledge there is to life. This could be the reason why God wants us to come to Him first thing in the morning, diving straight into His Word and to commit the day before us into His hands, for it is through the Bible that we learn how to control and express our feelings in ways that are helpful not only to us, as individuals, but also to others.

I pray that God will help me acquire that Christ-disciplined nature, where I will daily commit the first few moments of my mornings to read His Word and pray; to pray for Christ to take total control of my being, providing me the sufficient strength that I need to sustain me throughout the day. Even when I don’t feel like doing just that first thing in the morning, I pray for obedience, to humbly come before Him for wisdom and guidance. I believe that good feelings will eventually follow the right behaviour for Christ has said that we will be blessed if we do the things we know is right.

Rubber band theology

2007-07-08T15:25:00.000+08:00

As Christians, I believe that we can only walk in disobedience for so long. Of course, the longer we walk away, the bigger the consequences will be. There’s a saying that goes, “It’s all a rubber band theology”. The Lord has a rubber band around us to keep us close to Him, but we can stretch it. We can move away; we can distance ourselves from Him, but he won’t let us go no matter what. The question is, when will we snap back and how hard will the impact be. Imagine having a rubber band around your wrist. The further we pull the band away from the wrist, the more it hurts when it snaps back.

God gives us the liberty to go our own way, to wander away occasionally. However, He also gives us the chance to come back to Him. Ultimately, we will be drawn back to Him because we have His seed, grace and image implanted & stamped in us. We belong to Him, He owns us. It doesn’t mean that as a believer, we no longer have the ability to do wrong. No, it is not possible to live without sin. However, it does mean that a true Christian will never willingly live in a continued course of sin with great enjoyment.

Sin will only bring negative consequences into our lives. There’s no doubt about that. The Holy Spirit knows this and that’s why He grieves whenever we sin. It is also the reason why He is in us to prompt us to do the right thing for He knows that sin will only break us. We can choose not to go His way, but, mind you, the more we distant ourselves, the greater the pain will be. When the time comes when we get yanked back again, like the rubber band in our wrist, the only word we are left to say is perhaps “OUCH!” since it was our choice to stretch it; there’s no one whom we can blame it upon.

Cross-examine Him, He's always right

2007-07-02T02:45:00.000+08:00

The trials and hardships we face in life should really be seen as opportunities; opportunities for God to mould us into a better person. But, too often we look to them as big troubles and complications. When God decides to do the kindest things for us, I often wonder if they are often wrapped in the roughest packages, the most difficult moments of our lives.

Every now and then as I look back upon the difficult times I’ve been through, somehow, I will always find God’s never-failing work in knitting all those times into a beautiful outcome at the end. Perhaps that’s why James said to “consider it pure joy whenever we face trials of many kinds”. That joy that he speaks of is the joy that comes from our trust in God, knowing that whatever He does and is going to do, is definitely the right thing to do; the best. Like gold tried in fire, so is our faith tried in the midst of difficulties. And because it is in His Word, we can be certain that the testing of our faith will produce patience & perseverance, a longer durability of our faith.

How do I know that whatever the Lord does is always right & good? Well, cross-examine Him if you don’t believe; He will definitely win. Under cross-examination, you will always find His motives and affections pure and sincere. Look to the cross. Jesus is saying, “I’m dying in your place, I’m bearing your sins, I’m paying for your punishment, so that you can be free from all these”.

He has proven it to us and we cannot deny it. Perhaps it really doesn’t matter if at times we don’t understand what God is doing, for on the cross, He has proven that He is totally in love with us and cares a lot about us. I believe that God will always have His reasons and they can never be wrong or unjust. Whatever happens in my life, I can trust that it’s for my best.

Then again, it doesn’t mean that in times of trouble I put on a smile because I want to hide that hurt to act tough. Rather, I smile because I know that God is doing something good in my life, even though I may think otherwise. It sure is difficult to have to experience unspeakable hurts, but I’m glad that God is using every one of those experiences to mature me in ways that I cannot imagine. It’s just a sweet lesson that we can learn of Him.

Faith, hope & love

2007-06-23T02:55:00.000+08:00

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”~1 Cor 13:13

All three virtues are valuable and essential, but the greatest is still love. I wonder if it could probably be something to do with the effects that love has on us. Compared to faith & hope, love has the wider influence in the world as it is what brings about unity in our diverse community today. It not only unites us with God, but also unites all of us, human beings, as a family. As such, we see love being the most fundamental element that enables us to enter into the very nature of God’s kingdom, bringing all of His creation into a harmonious blend.

Although faith, hope and love may co-exist with one another, faith & hope are perhaps only more helpful in building up individual needs, serving only one man’s interests. On the other hand, love encourages us to take care of one another’s needs, taking into consideration other people’s interest and to put others’ desire above our own. This is how we are to live, loving everyone with a sacrificial love with no boundaries attached, but much sincerity wrapped around it.

Nonetheless, be careful, for the devil is a clever one. He tries to stop us from loving each other and God with his deceptive ways. He haunts us with our past, reminding us of our failures and shortcomings, and he makes us question about the future till all the uncertainties start clouding our hearts with worries.

Perhaps that’s why we need the essence of faith & hope co-existing with love as well. Faith takes care of our past for we know that our sins are forgiven; we no longer need to be ashamed of our past. Hope secures us of our future because we know where we’re heading to. Thus, if we’re no longer haunted by the past and not worried about the future, that leaves us with love in the present. And that’s exactly what we’re commanded to do- love God and His people.

God wants us to enjoy the sweetness of every moment we have in life. We may not know what will happen in the future, but that’s OK for we know for sure that the living hope of God is true and certain. He’s here with us, right here, right now, and that’s all that matter. It’s the now that He’s concerned about. And so, let’s continue to let our hearts remain in love and mind in faith & hope that is cemented in His Word, shall we?

Like a little child

2007-06-14T12:05:00.000+08:00

Like a little child, we can sometimes be so attention seeking. We fight for the fullest attention we can get from people. We demand for things to be done our way. We insist that we get what we want. Sounds pretty self-centred, don’t they? But, like little children, we can also be easily frightened when lightning strikes. We tremble at the first sound of roaring thunders. We cry when we fall. We feel as though it’s the end of the world when we come out last in a competition.

Like a little child, we’ll then run into the Father’s arms. We’ll crawl up into His lap and lay our head upon His chest. We’ll lie there long enough till we fall asleep. No need for words, no speech required; just letting Him hold us as close to Him as possible, close enough to hear His heartbeat, close enough to hear Him whisper assuring words. He’s always there to support us. His arms are forever held wide open to give us a warm hug of comfort, security and encouragement whenever we need them. That's just how amazing our heavenly Father is.

Like a little child, I hope that I'll always have that kind of feeling where there's an earnest longing for tomorrow's 'nap time' to come, for you know that that's going to be the best moment of the day. It is probably not just about finding rest, but also about listening closely to His heartbeat to know the plans and things He wants us to do for Him in life. Thus, I pray that I will never grow weary of going into a sweet, intimate and refreshing moment daily with the Father. May I never doubt the spring of life that continually gives me water to my soul.

My life's best man

2007-06-06T13:35:00.000+08:00

He loves me, and will continue loving me all the way;
He’s committed to care for me as far as my life will take me.
His hands reach down to pull me up when I fall;
With a firm grip, he holds my hand, gently affirming me that I’m not alone to defend for myself in this insecure world.
As long as I need him, he will always be there for me.
He’s known me all my life-the good and the bad; he knows them all; yet, he accepts them as his own, for he loves me so deeply and dearly.
He’s always looking out for me, making sure I get the best.
Because of all these, I know that he truly means it when he says to me, “I love you, sweetheart.”

It’s not a poem, neither do I intend to make it sound like one. There’s just so much that I wanted to say about the best man I have in my life and I didn't know where to start from. So, I just listed whatever that came into my mind as my thoughts rolled.

It’s dad’s 52nd birthday today and I just want to thank God for His gift of life; for giving me such a wonderful dad. Dad has taught me many things in life, but I guess the one most valuable lesson I have learnt from his life is learning to see God in His loving heavenly Father nature; after all He embodies all qualities of earthly fathers in their highest form. This is probably why whenever dad gives, I am reminded of God’s generousity that is so free and ever-flowing; and whenever he holds my hands, I can imagine the warmness of God’s hands upon mine.

He doesn’t have to be the king or the president of the country to be the best man in my life. To me, he’s the best because he has already won the most important title that any man can ever achieve in life, “Dad”.

And oh, did I forget to mention that I love my dad? I love everything about him, very very much indeed.

Excellence vs Perfection

2007-06-01T16:04:00.000+08:00

I want to excel in my studies, I really do. But what is it that defines my excellence? Straight A’s, High Distinctions, or maybe a perfect score? Yea, I used to think that grades were the most important; pretty impressive to get high grades, isn’t it? But perhaps excellence is not all about grades or getting the perfect score; it is different from perfection. In God’s eyes, being excellent doesn’t require perfection; it is doing the best we can with the resources we have at hand.

In life, we work hard to advance as far as our abilities can take us and I have no doubts that God wants us to work hard. But, I also believe that God does not want us to work ourselves to the extent we start losing the joy and happiness in carrying out the responsibilities we have. We all struggle to meet different demands from different people and at times, the expectations people have on us can be pretty draining on our time and energy. Suddenly, words like joy, rest, and freedom are lost because we consider them to be things that can only be done later.

I still have the tendencies to fall back into the trap of perfectionism. Whenever I realize that impatience and worries are starting to cloud my heart, I need to stop whatever I’m doing and remind myself that God doesn’t call us to perfection; after all, only He can be perfect. He only calls us to maturity and a balanced life. Studies and work are important, but so are the physical, social and spiritual aspects of our lives. In every aspect, there are duties which we are called to do and no one aspect can dominate all of our time. The best way out is probably to just do the best we can in the time allotted for every portion of work we have.

With exams coming nearer, there is certainly a higher demand on time and energy. Yes, there is a necessity to place greater emphasis on higher priority tasks and let lesser priorities slide a little. But maybe relaxation and joy need not wait till exams are over; we can still have fun while studying; it is God’s plan after all that we enjoy every moment of our lives with Him. In times like these- the ‘stress’ season, I pray that God will continually help me find joy in whatever circumstances I may be in and may this joy give me the strength I need to persevere through any hardships. I want to trust God, the One who by His power holds all things together- the moon, the stars and all of creation, to also hold my hand as I walk through this journey of life set before me.

Mistakes, failures & weaknesses

2007-05-22T02:25:00.000+08:00

Finally, it’s over. After 3 weeks of teaching prac, it is finally over! It is quite a relief that the days of massive paper work is over for now although it had been a meaningful prac for me. Most importantly, I’m glad that my supervisors saw an improvement in me at the end of the 3 weeks. No doubt that there had been downs, failures, and mistakes during my prac, but I guess that’s what it’s all about- learning from my mistakes and turning them into lessons for something better.

I have to say, it certainly was difficult, to have to face with my mistakes and acknowledging my weaknesses. There had been many times when I just so wanted to give up as I grew to know of my limitations. But then again, I knew that it is only in my weaknesses that God’s strength is seen, and it is only through those mistakes I can learn to improve myself. I believe that mistakes are only truly mistakes when we fail to learn from them.

I guess it is the same with our spiritual walk with Him. We have an earnest desire to walk with our God, to progress and move forward as we walk towards Him, but sometimes, we feel like losing ground because of the tough challenges that seem to weigh us down over and over again. During those times, moving beyond these barriers and fully embracing an active, moving faith may seem impossible. But, thankfully God has given us this wonderful privilege to see things from His perspective. I reckon this is one of the greatest blessings we can have being His child- to be able to understand things with the mind of Christ. It gives us an eternal frame of mind that frees us from the captivity of time. It gives us hope, for we know that whatever we are going through right now will not go unnoticed; they will eventually have eternal consequences.

We may make mistakes and we may lack many things, but that’s alright. None of us is perfect. Perhaps what matters most is to do the best we can with what we’ve got while at the same time, faithfully trusting God to mould us as He wishes. Somehow, I think that when God is looking for people to do His work, He is more interested in their “availability”, rather than their “ability”. No matter how little we have, He can still do a lot, that’s if He has all there is of it.

My commitment to mum

2007-05-14T13:53:00.000+08:00

Throughout the past week, the children in my class had been spending lots of time making and decorating Mother’s Day vouchers. These vouchers are to be given to their mothers and on each vouchers, the children had to write one thing that they would do for their mum in exchange for the voucher. It was quite amusing to read some of the things these children wrote. Most of them wrote “I’ll wash the dishes” or “I’ll clean my room” and one of them even wrote “I’ll be quiet for 3 minutes”! There was another boy who totally blew me away as he wrote the word ‘once’ at the end of every voucher he made so that his mum will not try to use it more than once. I laughed, hard!

Today, I gave my mum a voucher too; a voucher of my lifetime love for her. This is the commitment I’ve made towards her, to thank her for all the sacrifices she has made for the family. I want to continually show her respect through loving words and acts of kindness, to be humble and obedient to her as long as God allows me- this is my way of honoring her. She may not have brought me up the way I had hoped she had, but it doesn’t matter. She did what she thought was best to her at that time and likewise, all of us are just living our lives in the best way we know how. I believe mum has had her hardships and challenges, too that could have affected her ability to offer what I needed or wanted.

Mum’s greatest desire for me and my brothers now is for us to live a life devoted to Jesus. She hopes to see us walk in His ways, living a surrendered life wholly unto Him. As we daily commit ourselves to Him, I know that she is honored as well, for nothing brings her more joy than to see her children growing stronger in the Lord. I know there will be times when I will fail to live up to this commitment that I have made, but I pray that the Holy Spirit will help me continually love her with a genuine and sincere heart. Only He can help me express an unconditional and undying love for her.

I love you, mum.

Have my all, Lord

2007-05-06T02:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord,

You know the anxieties of my heart, the things that I’m struggling so hard within me to keep a balanced life in you. Outwardly, my life may seem perfect, but inside me, there’s panic, worries and insecurities, which are starting to cloud my heart. I’m not sure I know exactly what these fears are, but it’s definitely not how you want me to feel. You just want me to seek you and trust you with ALL of my heart, and I think that’s what I’m finding hard to do at this moment.

So, teach me, Lord, to organize my days according to your priorities. Help me to rely on you with all my heart & mind, not just part of me, but ALL; and to find just enough amount of trust to keep me going for each day. Help me dwell daily in your promises for only your truths can set my mind free from all fears. Restore the peace that I once had with you, Lord; please, I need you, help me. Amen.

To a wonderful godsis

2007-05-04T15:27:00.000+08:00

Thinking about the memories and the experiences we shared over the past few years just makes me turn to God and truly thank Him for you, a special godsis, who has enriched my life greatly and whom, I know will continue to do so for many years to come. I know a big part of who I am today is shaped by the love and care which you and Sam, and godma & godpa shared with me years ago when you all were still in BP.

I remember the time when I went to church service for the very first time. It was you who encouraged me to go and soon, all of us (together with my brothers and Sam, too) started going to church together. I may not have understood what church service was all about at that time but I knew I had fun and enjoyed going for it. And oh, with all the training we got from those banana & papaya sales, oh gosh, I don’t think we’ll really have to struggle achieving success if we had taken the business path today! =p

For all those fun times we had together as little kids, it's just amazing whenever I think of how they were already part of God’s plan way before we knew it was going to happen. He thought of you first when He wanted to create a godsister to be my friend. I feel blessed to have you in my life. No doubt times have changed and we are at different places now, but I believe that somehow, God will help us make this friendship stay strong, even after you go to the States.

I may not have said before how much you mean to me, so today, I’m sending you lots of love, special thoughts, warm hugs and kisses (think you’re gonna have to use Dettol to wash your face later) to wish you HapPy 20th BirThdAy! To my wonderful godsis, I pray that God will daily bless you twice as much the blessings you have given me! Hope you will have a fantastic birthday, Sarah. It’s your special day; you deserve the best!

Hoping for the best

2007-05-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

It’s been two weeks now since the Virginia Tech massacre happened, but many are still shaking in terror. As much as we would like to manage all the possible frightening situations facing us, we simply cannot. It is impossible, unattainable. We do not have the power to control all the actions happening around us.

It probably has hit many of our minds, thinking of the question how our loving God can allow this brutal event to take place when He has all the power in the world to stop it. And, no matter how hard we try to get about answering it, we merely cannot find one. It’s like a puzzle with missing bits; a mystery that maybe could only be solved when we see Him face to face one day.

We may never fully understand why God allows suffering, but one thing I think we can all find comfort in- knowing that He did not exclude Himself from it. When Christ died on the cross, He suffered the most excruciating pain of all; like dying a thousand deaths. It probably is the worst form of death any man can and will ever experience, yet, He chose to expose Himself to it. The nails didn’t keep Him there; His love did. I guess this is probably one of the things that have been keeping me going on so far in life- knowing that He is not unfamiliar with whatever pain and suffering I may be experiencing. After all, He suffered the worst.

With so much of life happening outside of our control, the best thing we can do is perhaps to learn to trust God’s sovereignty for nothing can happen to us unless they first pass through His sovereign hands. I truly believe that there will come a day when God will wipe every tear away from our eyes; when death is gone for good, and so are mourning, crying & pain (Rev 21:4).

Just for you, Kor

2007-05-01T07:45:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY to my dearest Kor, who has been

--such a blessing in my life

--there to support me when I needed him most

--helping & challenging me in my weaknesses

--caring & looking out for my safety in the best way he can

--patiently putting up with my ‘nonsense’ for all those times I’ve annoyed him (yea, I know I can be pretty annoying at times.. =P)

--bringing joy and happiness into my life simply with his smiles & laughters

--most importantly, for loving me, valueing me & accepting me for who I am

Thanks, Kor, for all that you’ve done for me- the sacrifices and effort you’ve made to just make sure I’m happy and well; and for just being you, not trying to be someone you’re not. It is probably one of those things I like best about you- being honest and open.

I pray that God will continue to use you as a vessel of love, that will always bring warmth and joy into the lives of many, and through you, may many people be touched by His love and peace. May God continue to bless you with a lifetime of beautiful tomorrows, too, which I know you will, coz you have ME! Hehe...

Love you lots!

"I did it"

2007-04-24T05:45:00.000+08:00

John Stott wrote, “Before we can begin to see the cross as something done for us (leading us to faith and worship), we have to see it as something done by us (leading us to repentance)…As we face the cross, then, we can say to ourselves both ‘I did it; my sins sent Him there,’ and ‘He did it; His love took Him there.’

We caused the Great Rescue to happen. It was because of our sins that God had to send a Saviour and substitute into this world. Our sins left the Father with no choice, but to reject his beloved Son, Jesus when he died on the cross on our behalf. The Father’s holiness could not be compromised even though it ached His heart to see His Son being treated like a criminal, as though he was the one responsible for every sin ever committed. How painful it must have been for the Father to see His Son being condemned and cursed in order for us to go free, and how painful it must have been for Jesus to be forsaken by his Father at that instance so that you and I will never be forsaken.

Once again, I am being reminded of the significance of the Cross and the gravity of sin. I cannot help but be forced to think about the real nature of sin, the intense wickedness that we, humans are capable of, and the terrifying wrath that God has towards sin. Yet, at the same time, the Cross reassures me of God’s magnificent and amazing love, as well as His unspeakable mercy towards sinners, like you and I. This reassurance truly humbles me and reminds me of my need to depend on God to sustain me all the days of my life. Without His everlasting grace, mercy, hope and forgiveness, I don’t think I will ever be able to run this race with joy and peace in my heart.

I do think that one truly need to first approach the reality of sin before he/she can appreciate God’s incredible work on the Cross. But perhaps, it is not just realizing the seriousness of sin and humbly acknowledging the need of a Saviour to live a righteous life, but also, recognizing the holiness of God, which will never change to suit our standards. The torture and agony that Christ experienced on the cross has demonstrated the weight of sin in the eyes of God. May this serve as a reminder for me to never ignore His holiness- assuming that God is as tolerant of sin as we are, just so that I can excuse myself to succumb to my own fleshly desires.

Walking the Faith

2007-04-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

Just wondering…
With little eyes that are constantly watching & waiting to see what I choose to do, am I sending the right messages through my actions? I say that I am a Christian, but do I have enough evidence to support what I say?

The Christian life is a life of commitment and total surrender to the authority of God. It is about holding firmly to Him, obeying His commands, walking in all his ways, and most importantly, loving and serving Him with all my heart and soul. Yet, I know that many times I’ve failed to live up to what I’ve claimed to be due to those countless times when I’ve put my desires above others’ needs, and thus, neglecting the responsibility that I have in loving others just as Christ loved me in a sacrificial manner.

But, I thank God for His grace and mercy, for not expecting me to live this Christian life on my own, or by my own strength. More so, I thank God for sending me a helper, the Holy Spirit, to live in my heart, to daily guide me to make wise decisions and to teach me how to love others with the utmost ability that I can. Without the Spirit’s guidance, I think I'll find myself falling over the same failures time and time again.

Surrendering to God is a constant decision that one needs to make over and over again if he/she wants to be like the Master; to act like He would act in bringing hope, love, joy and life to the poor and needy. The walk won’t be easy, but God has promised a victorious life through the Holy Spirit. Hence, I will trust in Him to provide me with all that I need to carry out the works that He wants me to do.

And so, dear Lord, as I continually renew my commitment towards you, refresh my heart with the joy of your spirit; fill my cup with your love till it overflows in and out of my life; and strengthen my faith that I may have the power to resist temptations, that as a result, I can be a more faithful & effective witness for you in this world. Amen.

The Essence of Easter

2007-04-08T03:05:00.000+08:00

The wood, the thorns, the nails. One man, one cross, one death and that made all the difference in the world. That was the design of Christ death- to destroy the sins of every man, once for all, and that through His one death, our lives could be free from the bondage of sin and the eternal condemnation of sin.

But, hey, that’s not the end of the story. Christ's sin-conquering death was just Friday. There was Sunday too, the Easter morning, the morning of his life-saving resurrection. This is what Easter is all about- a new life.

Have you ever wondered what Christ’s ultimate purpose was for coming to earth? It wasn’t to make bad people good, but to make dead people live. That was His main aim- to give mankind a new start; new life; new nature; new freedom. His death and resurrection opened the possibility for men to be born again, not physically, but spiritually so that through spiritual birth, every man can receive the gift of Life.

Jesus was crucified, along with two other criminals and as they were about to die, one of the criminals turned to Him for forgiveness. That man realized that the only way for him to be free from all the guilt & condemnation of his sins was through Jesus' blood because only His sacrifice is fully satisfactory to the law & justice of God. He asked for mercy and Jesus freely gave; Jesus forgave the man who decided to believe in Him even at the very last moment.

When people come to us with their problems, the best support we can give is perhaps to help them see the goodness of the new life that Christ offers, rather than just rattling a whole long list of what’s right and wrong; telling them what should have been done in the first place and what they should be doing next to make things right again. Deeds do not save us, faith in Christ does.

I believe that redemption precedes righteousness, for only when we have the Life of the Spirit in our soul, can we have the ability to do what is right and justified in the eyes of God. Only in the new life, will we be able to have the desire to honour Him and lead the triumphant life. Never again will death have the last word.

“When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us.” (Romans 6:10)

Pain's Remedy

2007-04-03T01:50:00.000+08:00

Life is difficult. We all know this for we’ve tasted pain before and we are continually faced by it. Whether we like it or not, we have to deal with it; it’s unavoidable. But, the question is how are we dealing with it? Is it a solution that is carried out in God’s presence or is it just another new way that you’ve design to make you feel better for the moment?

I guess many times we have fallen into the trap of blindness, where we take our eyes off God and allow our sinful nature to take the lead even though we clearly know that our actions and heart should be seeking after God’s counsel. Though I hate to admit it, but I have to say that we are pretty good at finding all sorts of ways, except God's, to soothe ourselves, telling us that life is okay and that we are okay too. We deal with our deepest agonies by manipulating things to go the way we want them to be.

We really tear God’s heart when we are ever so ready to turn to other things for comfort and help except Him. Perhaps what we really need to consider is- are we fearing the consequences of sin more than we fear sin at its core? Because until we really understand what sin is; it's true nature, the damages it can do to one’s life, as well as the ache it can bring to the heart of God, we won't quit playing with it.

In the midst of all our troubles, struggles, pains, difficulties in life, our heart is probably the one thing that we need to change, and prayer is the only way that will change it. I believe that God is faithful & will keep His promises, to supply all that we need- comfort, peace, strength, courage, hope and wisdom, at that moment to help us get past them.

Two ways of dealing with pain: one that seeks the counsel of God, while the other turns to earthly things for temporary comfort; one that is willing to wait upon the Lord and be obedient to Him, while the other is stubborn and determined to do things his/her own way. Which way are you following?

“If you are determined to go in a certain direction, God will step aside and second your emotion.” ~Ravi Zacharias.
And when this happens, I think that’s when we will face the greatest pain of all.

When "Mummy & Daddy" is lost

2007-03-28T12:15:00.000+08:00

Kids should ever be left alone in this world to defend for themselves. Neither should any kid be deprived of parental love, for in this hostile world of ours, perhaps one of the most secure terms that all of us can hold on to is “Mummy & Daddy”. But, what happens when the symbol of the greatest security becomes the most horrifying one?

She came into class, feeling responsible for all the problems that her parents are facing in their marriage. She felt that it’s all her fault that her parents are unemployed. What did she do? She stole from the teacher! She was sick and tired of what’s been happening in her home and so, she stole, hoping that bringing something home would somehow bring a smile to her parents’ faces.

How delicate are the lives of the young ones. Kids walk into our lives with different experiences and backgrounds, and sometimes, we fail to respond according to their needs because they often seem cheerful and happy. But, when we really start looking deep down at the condition of their souls, we will find that most of them are just hungry for a touch of love. All they want is for people to show them a little more loving kindness and to value them for who they are.

I reckon children’s lives are like vases- valuable and fragile. A vase that is broken will forever be left scarred and marked. Similarly, children’s life can be forever marked and scarred if they come to a point where their lives are being stretched almost beyond what they can bear. No doubt we can try to piece the broken bits back together again, but no matter how well you do it; there will always be that mark there.

I only have 12 more days before I finish my attachment in this school. There are so many things that I wish I could do for these kids, but not only do I have limited time; I also have boundaries, which I cannot cross. Nonetheless, I pray that with all the time that I have left, I will take pleasure in investing all that I have to give them a glimpse of what God’s love is all about. For each one of them, no matter what is happening in their lives, may God help me be as accommodating as I can in all possible ways and hopefully, it will serve as an encouragement for the kids to continually make the best out of their lives no matter what the circumstance.

Knowledge VS Wisdom

2007-03-20T03:10:00.000+08:00

Our present culture promotes the idea of how knowledge itself is power. The more knowledge you have, the more powerful you are because then, you can use it for your own purposes. For this reason, it becomes usual to equate knowledge with wisdom. But, there is actually a great difference in the two of them. We can be the smartest person alive; having all kinds of knowledge, yet be the most foolish person alive at the same time when we waste our knowledge on doing the wrong things.

The Bible encourages us to equip ourselves with knowledge, but, with the right kind of knowledge. True wisdom is more than just knowing God because it also involves the proper interpretation and application of knowledge in our everyday life. It is the principal thing; the basis and foundation from whence everything else springs, and therefore, we are to seek it above all things (Prov 4:7). Knowledge without wisdom is but a powerless tool in God’s eyes.

Thus, the highest form of learning in life is the learning of wisdom and in order to obtain it, one must have the desire to want it; to be willing to sacrifice all that he has- wealth, desires, time, energy, resources. It is expensive and costly, and it may perhaps take more pains and hard work in comparison to the worldly things being pursued in life right now, but hey, guess what, in return, God is giving us all that He has! He promises a long life to those who earnestly seek it, and health for their souls.

Perhaps being wise is better than being smart, for I have seen many smart people messing around with sin even though they know that it is wrong. It is silly, but it happens. Sometimes, I fall into that trap too. It shows how choosing wisdom is not just an once-in-a-lifetime decision, but a daily commitment to the Lord in choosing between two paths:- the righteous or the wicked.

And so, dear Lord, teach me Thy way; unite my heart to fear Thy name for to fear Thy name is to hate evil. Grant me wisdom & understanding; direction & guidance in all that I say and do in life. Amen.

When Words Kill

2007-03-09T12:05:00.000+08:00

I sometimes wish that my speech could be perfect all the time, so then I would not have to watch the disappointment and sadness that some of my careless & hurtful words can bring to a friend. I know this pain for I’ve been there before, a receiver of painful words. And no matter how remorseful I may be after saying those words, I cannot undo the damage that I’ve done. That’s the nature of speech: Once said, and it can never be retrieved.

We all know that words leave a lasting impact, but sometimes, they just leap past our lips in an instant; occasionally, even faster than our brains can consider them. In that unguarded moment, we’ve allowed foolish words to slip out of our mouths. Thus, just thinking about changing our speech is not good enough. We need to go deeper than our brains, all the way to the source of our words- our heart.

Our speech is a reflection of what is in our heart, and one can only produce good things; good speech; life-giving words, if good things are stored up in the heart (Matt 12:35). Therefore, let us make every effort to fill our heart with the wonderful works and Word of God; to nurture it, so that good and loving words may flow out of our sparkling spring- our heart.

The tongue can be an instrument of either a great deal of good, or a great deal of evil; and it has the power to bring life or death, to both its giver and receiver of words. We are free to choose whichever way we want to use it, but let us bear in mind that we will one day reap what we sow. We will be reimbursed accordingly with either the advantages or disadvantages arising from it.

Why learn?

2007-03-03T06:15:00.000+08:00

Don't we sometimes love to question the relevance of some of the subjects that are taught in schools? For example, History. I never liked studying world history and so, I remember that when I was back in high school, I always asked, "Why do I have to study this when I'm not even going to use it in my future?" Obviously, I wasn't interested to know the answer, but just asking for the sake of arguing, hoping I could get my way through it somehow.

Likewise, in many other situations, we may not understand why we have to learn certain things, especially when we do not see their connections with our future. There is certainly some truth in that because many of us will now have very little memory of what we have learnt back in our schooling days. For some, it could also well be that they have no recollection of what they have learnt at all! =P

But, maybe God wants us to see the significance that learning has in itself. Perhaps He wants us to learn, to study & experience the process of learning, so that we can come to know Him more with the knowledge we have gained about the process of learning. It is possible that He wants us to apply the knowledge we have about the learning process to study- to wonder, observe & reflect upon His Word since the Bible is the foundation of every true knowledge in life.

It is amazing to see how God can use every lesson & experience in life to teach us more about His work amongst men. I really do have a great and awesome God!

A Fresh Start

2007-02-28T11:26:00.000+08:00

I miss home a lot. I really do. Though it's not my first time being away from home anymore, I still get homesick from time to time whenever I am away from home. I guess it is not just missing the comforts of home and loved ones, but also the sense of security in a familiar surrounding.

Being away from home is a great challenge for me because I am forced to learn different methods to meet my needs in a different way and with different people around me. Therefore, there is always this longing for things to return the way they were as I am forced to step out of my comfort zone.

Nonetheless, I believe there is a positive side to homesickness, too. At least I know that I have family, friends and loved ones worth missing and a place where I can always return to when my little adventure is over.

Oh wells, many busy, busy days ahead. Yet, in the midst of all the busyness, I pray that God will continue to show me the lessons He want me to learn. No matter what the circumstance, I want to put in my very best to fulfill whatever responsibilities that have been and will be entrusted to me. I need to constantly remember that this is all part of my journey towards Christ, for Christ, and with Christ.

The Greatest Valentine

2007-02-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

Love is certainly in the air. Valentine’s Day never fails to bring out a definite sweetness in the air with pink and red as its colour theme for the day; a day about love, when people would do romantic things to show their affectionate feeling. It sure is fun to be part of all the excitement, passing out valentines, giving/receiving roses, chocolates or fancy candy hearts from loved ones, but, there are also others who would feel lonely, unlovable, forgotten, and unloved.

Perhaps what these people are missing is the experience of the kind of love, where its magnitude is so strong, so incredibly strong, that it would go to the extent where one would willingly lay down his life for another. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends”. In other words, the greatest love any one can have for their friends is to lay down his/her life for them.

Our life is probably the most valuable thing we have. Therefore, when a man is willing to lay down his life for his friends, he is showing the utmost extent of love. There is no other way for any man to love farther than this, for when he gives up his life, he is giving up all that he has for the cause of friendship. And this love was demonstrated by Christ himself, when He freely and voluntarily worked his body not only to the point of exhaustion, but to death, that we may experience his love in its highest expression. He has not only equaled, but exceeded, the most illustrious love one can ever find on earth.

Today, Christ’s love continues to live in the hearts and souls of those He calls His friends- a people who love, believe & obey Him. It could be that Jesus is the greatest Valentine of all for His love is the deepest one can ever find, a love above every other love, the best. More so, the joy and happiness that He brings is of everlasting value.

A Father's Loving Kindness

2007-02-08T04:50:00.000+08:00

It sometimes just boggles my mind when I think of the privileges that I have being part of God’s family. To be His children, is also to be His heirs. And of course, an heir will eventually inherit all of his father’s estate. In other words, all that the Father has will one day be mine! It seems unbelievable that I will one day possess all of God’s glorious inheritance. It’s harder to believe when I think of how God still wants the best for me even though I’ve disappoint Him over and over again.

One does not necessarily have to adopt a child before he can show love towards children. Likewise, God can also love us without adopting us, but still, He chooses to adopt us the moment we place our trust in Him, placing every newborn believe in a family of which He is the Father. It is a privilege that He gives to all believers- the privilege to be part of an eternal home; the privilege to call him “Abba, Father”; the privilege to address him with warm affection and endearing confidence.

This is the Spirit of adoption or sonship that allows us to have this Father-son relationship with God. It is a special relationship, which can only happen by God’s grace for it is out of His pure and sovereign love that we are now under the heavenly Father’s protection and care. By nature, we were strangers and had no claims on Him, yet, God chooses to embrace us as His sons & daughters; giving us the rights to possess His estate.

Nonetheless, it is not by natural birth that we become His child for through natural birth we are merely born as children of a human father. It is only through spiritual birth that we can be born as children of the Most High God, the true Father. And, it is only when we have received Him into our hearts and believe in Him that we can experience this new birth. No parent will ever acknowledge his child if the child despises and have no confidence or trust in the parent. Similarly, God cannot acknowledge us unless and until we have put our trust in Him.

Test of Simplicity

2007-02-03T05:05:00.000+08:00

I sometimes wonder if it is true that the more we have, the harder it is to live a life of simplicity that is in Christ. Simplicity in Christ speaks of a simple and single-hearted devotedness to Him, but, since we now live in a lifestyle that is greatly defined by the material things we possess, perhaps the discipline of simplicity is really not that simple after all.

God warns us from being preoccupied with material things, yet we are surrounded by them. It is not wrong to have a life that is flowing with material blessings but it is wrong to be obsessed with them. When one starts to find satisfaction in material things rather than the spiritual, the simple and single-hearted devotedness to Him is lost because the heart is making room for other objects. How then can a heart still be called single when there is more than one aim, purpose and goal filling the heart?

I have to admit that I am very much materially blessed by God. I have so much more than I really need in life and sometimes, it does scare me because I wonder if I have lost the simplicity that Christ speaks of. I need to constantly remind myself that life is so much more than the abundance of possessions (Luke 12:15) because our true life is not made up of the material riches that we own, but the spiritual ones.

The man who stores up treasures for himself can never be rich towards God. Thus, I pray that the Lord will continually teach me how I can use all the blessings that I have to bless the lives of others; for the advancement of His kingdom.

One can only truly enjoy the material blessings of God when his/her heart has decided to surrender the material and embrace the eternal. What is your decision?

The Heart of Hospitality

2007-01-25T16:50:00.000+08:00

It is not about creating a fancy image for ourselves as hosts, but about meeting the needs of our guests. It is not just an open invitation to visitors to be guests in our homes, but an invitation to strangers to be friends in our hearts. Rather than wait for chance to appear, it constantly pursue and work hard to seek opportunities to manifest itself. This is the hospitality of the Spirit of Christ.

Jesus Christ came to meet our greatest and deepest need of all, love. He came to transform us from strangers into friends so that we might feel accepted and welcomed into the house of God. He made himself totally available to another in order that the person’s hunger for love and acceptance is met. Such is the hospitality of the Spirit of Christ- to love & care for others by trying the best that we can in our abilities to meet their needs; welcoming them into the home of our hearts.

But I’m starting to see how such hospitality stretches those who try to practice it, for when we open the doors of our hearts to people, we are also opening our hearts to dangers that we may sometimes receive from those of opposite characters. These dangers include pains, disappointments and sufferings, which unfortunately is unavoidable because it is the reality of our current world.

Though aware of the many possible dangers the heart may suffer, I want to continue pursuing hospitality all the days of my life (at least I hope I will), for you’ll never know when you’ll be entertaining ‘angels’. It will be heartbreaking to miss the opportunity of entertaining those whose presence can be a blessing in our lives. More so, it will be tragic to miss the opportunity of touching the hearts of those who may really be in need of the gospel. We may not be able to see its reward now, but one day, in retrospect, I believe we will find that welcoming such guests was worth more that what it had cost to entertain them.

Love is Sight

2007-01-18T05:12:00.000+08:00

Perhaps love isn’t so blind after all, for true love sees clearly both the strengths and weaknesses in others, and in spite of them, true love chooses to see beyond them. This is the kind of love that Christ wants us to practice in our daily lives. It is easy to love when things are going the way we want them to be, or rather, I should say, it is easy to love when we are in situations where things are in our control.

But the real challenge comes when effort is required in order to show love. It becomes more like an act of will, a decision that one has to make when placed in situations where one’s own boundary of comfort is challenged. It is a tough choice to make, especially when one knows that there is a heavy cost to it because loving others requires work, hard work, a lifetime work.

There will be a point of time when love will seem insincere and inauthentic because the initial stage of loving the opposites is an involuntary act of love. But, I believe that the feelings of love will eventually catch up with our right actions if we have the determination in our heart to continue loving even when we don’t feel like it.

Maybe if we think of love as an art, then the only way to master this art is to make it a servant of our wills. But, to make it a servant of our wills is a choice that we have to make for ourselves.

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained”
~C.S. Lewis

Proofs and Evidences

2007-01-16T16:22:00.000+08:00

I want my friends to be saved. I want them to be able to see & understand the greatness and goodness of the God I strongly believe in, so that they too can inherit the eternal gifts that Christ offers. But, how can I prove to them that the God, whom I so strongly believe in is the best and is above all other gods?

I have been thinking about that question for the past one week now, and I guess it is probably not possible for any of us to prove that God exists. After all, God is not an object which we can take and perform an experiment on in science labs. What I can do to convince them that Jesus is real is by showing them the evidences that is written in the Bible about the life of Jesus and to live my life as a reflection of the nature of Jesus. Perhaps, the strongest support to the evidences presented in the Bible lies in the way we Christians live our lives. Beyond this point, it is up to them to decide whether they want to believe it or not.

I am starting to see how the whole concept of proof can be pretty subjective because the amount of evidence needed to convince someone to believe in something varies according to each individual. One argument may be highly convincing to me, but leave someone else completely skeptical, or, there could also be times when no amount of evidence presented will ever be sufficient to convince one to change his/her mind when they have already made up their minds to close all doors to any further discussions.

I know there’s a limited amount of things which I can do to try to convince my friends to believe in Jesus Christ. But sometimes, I wish there was a much easier & faster way for all of them to come to know Him. Nonetheless, I believe that God has His ways & timing, and so, I will continue to trust in Him to work in their lives just as He has planned.

A lesson on the power of love

2007-01-05T18:30:00.000+08:00

As tears of anger & disappointment stream down my cheeks, I knew that I had to fight against it no matter what the cost. That’s what a follower of Christ is required to do- to forgive our debtors. It is certainly something not easy for us to do as it is not our natural instinct to forgive. Although I had the intentions to forgive, I did not have enough power to do so.

But, God knew what I needed to learn how to extend grace to others. He knew that I needed to be reminded of the love & grace Christ pours over me every minute of my life. And so, He sent my lil bro just at the right time to give me the encouragement that I need. His warm hug put me on a plane of love, where suddenly all the bitterness and anger within me started to disappear. There was no room for negative feelings as love started to warm my heart. It was a lesson on the power of love, a lesson which never struck me this deep until now.

When love is present, we learn how to put the best possible construction on the conduct of others, trying to see what was done was without evil intention. Now, I understand better of what it means when Paul defined real love to the Corinthians- It keeps no record of wrong and it never fails. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Everything's good now because I know it was unintentional. Of course, it still hurts, but I know that my dear Lord will heal it slowly, and that He will grant me the sufficient grace that I need to continue loving. =)

The Gifts of Christmas

2007-01-05T13:51:00.000+08:00

At Christmas, many of us have nicely decorated Christmas tree in our homes, and under the tree, we prepare many gifts for the people we love. But, these gifts are only temporary. Although each gift has a value to it, they cannot and do not last forever.

In the Bible, we read of another tree, the cross. Jesus was crucified on that tree for you and for me. It was our sins that nailed Him there. Yet, under that same tree, Jesus gives us the best gifts anyone could ever receive. The gifts, which are laid beneath this tree, are of eternal value- the gift of salvation, the gift of freedom from the slavery of sin, the gift of eternal life. Jesus came that we may be filled with the unspeakable joy of the Lord; the peace that surpasses all human understanding; and the hope that will help us endure, together with faith & love, right to the very end (Romans 15:13).

I thank God for all the various Christmas gifts that I have received from friends and loved ones. I am touched by their thoughtfulness. But more so, I thank God for giving us the greatest gift of all, Jesus, that we might experience Christmas every day in our hearts.

Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay,
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray!
Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care,
And take us to heaven, to live with Thee there.
Amen.

Baby blogger

2007-01-02T15:00:00.000+08:00

This shall be my first new challenge of the year. I have been bugged by a few people to start blogging but I've never really got down to do so. Writing has never been my interest and previously, I've always thought of blogging as a hobby for weird people. But, I've also seen how blogging can leave a positive impact on others' lives. I know for sure that I have been blessed by reading other people's blogs. And so, I hope I will be able to do so with my own blog too. I hope this journey of reflective writing will also encourage me to think deeper into things, to discover more interesting facts about life & God that is usually hidden below the surface of the many things I see and experience in my daily life.

My new year resolutions?

As much as I want to receive many many blessings from people, I hope that I can be a blessing to others. I want God to use my life just the way He wants, to bless my friends, family & also people whom I will come to know.
I want to be diligent in building my relationship with God and also with others. I believe that one of the most important essence in finding meaning in life is through relationships.
Lastly, I hope to use blogging as a new area where I can contribute in building God's kingdom.