Loving quietness

I remember as a teenager, I hated quiet moments. I hated them because they often involve an absence of activity and goings-on, and any teenager would tell you that inactivity is simply boring! There’s no excitement at all without action.

However, I notice that over the years, my outlook on quietness has changed. Once upon a time, I tried avoiding it at all cost. But now, I want to seek it, treasure it and hold on to it as long as I can.

I guess over the years, I’ve really grown to discover and treasure God’s presence in times of silence and stillness. For on countless occasions, I have found my inner being burning with nervousness and anxiety. Yet, somehow, the troubled mind and heart can often find peace and calmness when I make an intentional choice to sit still and focus on God. Somehow, stillness brought about power and strength.

Perhaps the greatest strength than any one can find is in moments of silence, action-free. Because it is in those moments that the inner soul can hear the gentle whisper of God saying,
“My grace is all you need, because my power is perfected in weakness ~2 Cor 12:9
So, be still My child, I know your way
And I will guide, For My name's sake
Plunge in the rivers of My grace
Rest in the arms of My embrace” ~Don Moen

"Freedom" of Speech

We all live in a society that promotes the freedom of speech. It is a basic common right that every person is entitled to. But, I wonder if people are truly given the freedom to express their ideas and opinions openly. Of course, I understand that there must be certain restrictions on this freedom otherwise people may abuse it to create troubles and dangers by using violent or false language.

However, our culture today seems to pinpoint any one whose speech provokes the feelings and thoughts of the listener, although the speaker’s intention is to endorse truth or encourage peace. In a way, it appears that one can only enjoy the blessing of free expression if his/her expressed opinions and thoughts do not invoke another one’s feelings, even though they may truly benefit the listener.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons why many of us, Christians dare not express our faith outside the walls of the church. We fear that others may consider us as “offenders” of peace. We fear that the truth will hurt and offend our listeners, our friends, so, we rather stay silent. Plus, there are so many of them and so few of us. To go against them would mean ‘suicide’.

Nonetheless, this is exactly what we must do if we want to gain all with Christ. We have to deny ourselves, be willing to lose all that we have, even our lives, if we want to follow Him. For “the man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:25). Moreover, the Gospel of Christ will always be controversial in any case. It will be good news to those who accept it, but an offense to those who disagree with it.

People may think that we’re foolish to go against them, to risk our lives. But, let’s not be discouraged. We aren’t losing our lives for nothing. We have simply given all that we have in exchange for something greater- an unending life of joy and happiness with God. If only they knew.

Eyes of faith- the eyes that never need to grow old

At my current age, I wouldn’t dare say that I have seen much of life already. I have so much more to experience in life to learn about it. But, I would have to admit that God has opened my eyes to see so many of His great works in life that I can no longer deny His power and the truths of His Word.

Yet, at times, it seems so hard to believe what God tells me even though I know I can simply trust every word that He says. I find myself being more surprised than grateful when I experience His power working in my life. It’s like I am startled to even see His power work.

I wonder if times of unbelief like these arise because I’ve allowed too much noise from the outside to enter into center stage and stifle the clear voice of God speaking. Perhaps I’ve permitted the harsh realities of this world to rob me of the simple pleasures of childhood; my childlike faith. For if I truly had faith like a child, I would be waiting in eager expectation for Him to work wonders in every situation of my life, be excited & grateful when He gives me new ideas and experiences, rather than taken aback when He does.

As we journey through life, I know it is inevitable for many things to age. Nonetheless, there is one thing I hope will never age- my eyes of faith. I pray that the Lord may help me preserve them so that they will forever remain childlike. I want to be able to laugh gleefully, to sing aloud and to openly express my amusement, just like little children, even when I have grown to a ripe old age.

God does the shaping & the moulding, not us

He’s outlined a plan for every one of us. He already has a specific design in mind- what gifts and talents we’ll each possess, how we’ll use them, & what role we’ll play in building His kingdom.

Then, according to the individual unique plans He has for us, He thoughtfully moulds us. He shapes our being & our character, just like how a potter shapes the clay till it becomes a beautiful figurine. He refines us and purifies us from all impurities, just like how a blacksmith works the steel, so that we grow to become more like His Son, Jesus Christ.

Thus, perhaps our duty as a Christian isn’t about working hard to fit into God’s plans, but about letting God fit His plans into our lives. For we don’t do the fitting; God does. Even if at times we find ourselves falling short of our own goals & expectations, it is ok. Our failures do not necessarily mean that we aren’t doing well enough for Him.

It is all about His workings, not ours. He only asks that we may be willing to be open to Him. Then slowly, but surely, He will work His plans through us. Therefore, may we all willingly go to Him daily to seek His will and plan for our lives. And as we go to him, may we go truly go with a humble and submissive heart that is willing to surrender & offer all that we have to Him so that our lives can truly be a living sacrifice for Him.

Submissive Prayer

There’s nothing wrong with being persistent or insistent in prayer. After all, the Bible encourages us to pray at all times. But sometimes, perhaps prayer is not all about being insistent or persistent, but it also about being submissive. For I realized that when I am too insistent, I fall into the trap of continually asking God to fulfill my certain requests, without even pausing for a moment to ask Him for His opinions- whether that’s what He wants for me too.

Prayer was never meant to be a way for getting what we want from God, but rather a way for getting more of Him. We are meant to seek the Giver, not the gifts. We are meant to seek first His Kingdom and righteousness. However, I know I haven’t always been able to go to Him with a sincere intention to know Him, to get more of Him. Because the fleshly nature constantly demands for instant answers and solutions.

Nonetheless, I pray that the Holy Spirit will continually teach me how to pray with the right attitude and the right intentions. Whether or not the Father chooses to grant or deny any of my requests, I believe that He is all-powerful and will answer me according to His perfect will and timing.

A comforting response for the raging soul

Dear Lord,
My heart yearns for Your comfort and peace right now. I am relieved to be done with deceit, but Lord to once again walk in the light of the whole truth is hard. The past lies are still tangled with the truth that I sometimes get confused distinguishing the rights from the wrongs. I know You’ve forgiven me, yet I struggle to accept Your forgiveness. I know You’re real, but the heavy feelings and discouraging thoughts of self-doubt seem more real to me right now. Please, please make them go away Lord. Grant me the strength that I need to let go of the guilt & shame of the past and move into freedom. Help me feel Your presence, Lord. Help me to view myself not from my own perspective, but the way you see me.
Your anguish child.

My Dear Child,
Be strong and courageous. I will direct you in paths of righteousness. Although you are weak, in Me you are strong. I feel everything you feel, I see everything your mind see; that’s how close I am to You. My child, I love you and I will never forsake you, for you are truly Mine, and I am truly Yours.
Love, God.

Why not quit

I felt so strongly to walk out of Mackas and quit working there & then. Too many expectations; in fact, too many variations in these expectations. Different managers and senior worker expecting me to deliver different things. I felt tired and exhausted after having to keep on learning & re-learning their varying expectations for the past three months.

I was already telling myself, “Why hassle with a job that doesn’t appreciate and respect their workers? Why take in all the unrealistic pressure when I can move on to a better job and a better employer?” But, something held me back from lashing out my frustration. The thought of quitting suddenly felt wrong.

I realized deep down, God was trying to tell me that if I quit, I would be leaving for the wrong reason. While it seems practical to just move on to a better job where I can get the respect I deserve, God was trying to remind me that difficult people are everywhere. There is no perfect employer; neither is there going to be a perfect working place. So, I might as well start figuring out how to live & work with them now.

It was painful to have to have to go through this experience, but God has fixed my eyes more firmly on Christ now. And, that is what I pray He will help me do in the coming days of work to come- to fix my eyes on His goodness and stay encouraged because of Him. Although Mackas is just a part-time job and I won’t be staying there for long, I want to make sure that if I leave, I leave for the right reasons; God-centered reasons.