God does the shaping & the moulding, not us

He’s outlined a plan for every one of us. He already has a specific design in mind- what gifts and talents we’ll each possess, how we’ll use them, & what role we’ll play in building His kingdom.

Then, according to the individual unique plans He has for us, He thoughtfully moulds us. He shapes our being & our character, just like how a potter shapes the clay till it becomes a beautiful figurine. He refines us and purifies us from all impurities, just like how a blacksmith works the steel, so that we grow to become more like His Son, Jesus Christ.

Thus, perhaps our duty as a Christian isn’t about working hard to fit into God’s plans, but about letting God fit His plans into our lives. For we don’t do the fitting; God does. Even if at times we find ourselves falling short of our own goals & expectations, it is ok. Our failures do not necessarily mean that we aren’t doing well enough for Him.

It is all about His workings, not ours. He only asks that we may be willing to be open to Him. Then slowly, but surely, He will work His plans through us. Therefore, may we all willingly go to Him daily to seek His will and plan for our lives. And as we go to him, may we go truly go with a humble and submissive heart that is willing to surrender & offer all that we have to Him so that our lives can truly be a living sacrifice for Him.

Submissive Prayer

There’s nothing wrong with being persistent or insistent in prayer. After all, the Bible encourages us to pray at all times. But sometimes, perhaps prayer is not all about being insistent or persistent, but it also about being submissive. For I realized that when I am too insistent, I fall into the trap of continually asking God to fulfill my certain requests, without even pausing for a moment to ask Him for His opinions- whether that’s what He wants for me too.

Prayer was never meant to be a way for getting what we want from God, but rather a way for getting more of Him. We are meant to seek the Giver, not the gifts. We are meant to seek first His Kingdom and righteousness. However, I know I haven’t always been able to go to Him with a sincere intention to know Him, to get more of Him. Because the fleshly nature constantly demands for instant answers and solutions.

Nonetheless, I pray that the Holy Spirit will continually teach me how to pray with the right attitude and the right intentions. Whether or not the Father chooses to grant or deny any of my requests, I believe that He is all-powerful and will answer me according to His perfect will and timing.

A comforting response for the raging soul

Dear Lord,
My heart yearns for Your comfort and peace right now. I am relieved to be done with deceit, but Lord to once again walk in the light of the whole truth is hard. The past lies are still tangled with the truth that I sometimes get confused distinguishing the rights from the wrongs. I know You’ve forgiven me, yet I struggle to accept Your forgiveness. I know You’re real, but the heavy feelings and discouraging thoughts of self-doubt seem more real to me right now. Please, please make them go away Lord. Grant me the strength that I need to let go of the guilt & shame of the past and move into freedom. Help me feel Your presence, Lord. Help me to view myself not from my own perspective, but the way you see me.
Your anguish child.

My Dear Child,
Be strong and courageous. I will direct you in paths of righteousness. Although you are weak, in Me you are strong. I feel everything you feel, I see everything your mind see; that’s how close I am to You. My child, I love you and I will never forsake you, for you are truly Mine, and I am truly Yours.
Love, God.

Why not quit

I felt so strongly to walk out of Mackas and quit working there & then. Too many expectations; in fact, too many variations in these expectations. Different managers and senior worker expecting me to deliver different things. I felt tired and exhausted after having to keep on learning & re-learning their varying expectations for the past three months.

I was already telling myself, “Why hassle with a job that doesn’t appreciate and respect their workers? Why take in all the unrealistic pressure when I can move on to a better job and a better employer?” But, something held me back from lashing out my frustration. The thought of quitting suddenly felt wrong.

I realized deep down, God was trying to tell me that if I quit, I would be leaving for the wrong reason. While it seems practical to just move on to a better job where I can get the respect I deserve, God was trying to remind me that difficult people are everywhere. There is no perfect employer; neither is there going to be a perfect working place. So, I might as well start figuring out how to live & work with them now.

It was painful to have to have to go through this experience, but God has fixed my eyes more firmly on Christ now. And, that is what I pray He will help me do in the coming days of work to come- to fix my eyes on His goodness and stay encouraged because of Him. Although Mackas is just a part-time job and I won’t be staying there for long, I want to make sure that if I leave, I leave for the right reasons; God-centered reasons.