The best birthday ever

My 21st was perhaps the best one in this whole wide world. The entire day and night was filled with so many pre-planned surprises and I just cannot find enough words to express my gratitude to all of you who made this day so special for me.



To my brothers,
I am moved to tears by the effort you two made in planning for this whole surprise, even weeks before my birthday. Thank you so much for ALL that you two have done, especially for contacting and bringing many of my Perth & BP friends together for this celebration. You two certainly made me feel like I was on the top of the world.














To my Perth friends,
Thank you all for your well wishes and kind thoughts too. Especially to Uncle Eng Chuan, Auntie Marilyn, Nicole, Esther & Debs, thank you for coming all the way up to BP to make my day a truly exceptional one. You all sure did make me feel like a princess for the day and I can’t thank you all enough for that.

To my BP friends,
You guys did a really good job in keeping this a secret from me. In spite of the many outings and conversations we’ve had over the last few weeks, I never once suspected that something was going on. Even though some of you couldn’t be here with me, your SMS-es and calls have already shown your warm sincerity. Thank you all very much for your gifts, kind thoughts, and most of all, allowing me to be part of your life…this includes you, Yong Hwee.
*A special note to Ah Liang: I’m so sorry that my 21st had to go on without you. But, we can still think of something else together when you get back ya. I also want to say a big thank you to you for surprising me with your yummy yam jelly. Thank you for getting your mum to make it and sending it over to my place.

To my parents,
I never imagined that you two could have been such good secret-keepers. =P Thank you both for not only being supportive of the whole event, but also for being supportive of me all my life thus far. You two loved me all the way, right from the very moment I was brought into this world and I know for sure you two will still love me to the end no matter what. If mums and dads were flowers, you two would be the very ones I’ll pick.

To my heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for your grace & mercy, as well as your unconditional & unfailing love in seeing me through the past 21 years of my life. Thank you also for bringing such a devoted family and circle of friends into my life. You have brought so many special people to bless me at different times throughout the various seasons of my life, and I am extremely grateful for that.

There are so many more of you out there I want to thank, more than ever those of you who took the effort to make the long-distance/overseas calls and messages, just to wish me a happy birthday…you guys know who you are. =)

Thank you, everyone, for making my birthday so special!

A Christmas prayer

A truly stirring prayer that sums up just all that I desire for this Christmas:

"May you be filled with the wonder of Mary, the obedience of Joseph, the joy of the angels, the eagerness of the shepherds, the determination of the magi, and the peace of the Christ child. Almighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit bless you now and forever."

Letting things be simple

…Some ways indeed are very odd
By which we hail the birth of God.

We raise the price of things in shops,
We give plain boxes fancy tops
And lines which traders cannot sell
Thus parcell'd go extremely well
We dole out bribes we call a present
To those to whom we must be pleasant
For business reasons. Our defense is
These bribes are charged against expenses
And bring relief in Income Tax
Enough of these unworthy cracks!
'The time draws near the birth of Christ'.
A present that cannot be priced
Given two thousand years ago
Yet if God had not given so
He still would be a distant stranger
And not the Baby in the manger.
~ excerpt from Advent 1955 by John Betjeman

How true that our reasons for giving especially this Christmas season can get easily mixed up with motives and focus besides Jesus. We spend extravagantly to make presents, food, and decorations as attractive as possible so that our guests will be pleased. Then they go home, remembering only the contentment of enjoying these apparent, insignificant things.

Tonight, dad & mum are going to have guests over for an evangelistic Christmas dinner. I’m helping mum prepare the food- roast, wine, desserts. But as much as we want the guests to enjoy the meal, we are trying to keep things simple too. We would rather these guests go home with a greater memory of the sharing and testimonies they will hear of God’s love than the tastiness of food. We sincerely pray that they will openly accept the gift of Jesus. May all glory and esteem be given to Him and His alone.

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things I can;

And, the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

This prayer has been stuck as a magnet on my fridge for years, but I never really took notice of it till now. Perhaps I never saw suffering or hardships the way I see it now- an essential part of a Christian walk- thus, the prayer did not seem as real and meaningful to me like now.

Indeed Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I want to be able to live one day at a time, enjoying each moment. After all, you know what’s best for me. So, do tune my heart that I may willingly and thankfully receive whatever you give me in life. Wherever you place me, every moment & every condition, may I learn to view things from your perspective and depend on your instructions & teachings; counsel & guidance.

Grant me too, dear Lord, the courage to take the necessary actions that can strengthen my walk with you. Even though these actions may sometimes seem unpleasant to me, I pray for your strength to enable me to do them. Last but not least, I pray for your wisdom, so that I may know the difference between Your truths about life and illusions of the Evil one.

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

Conflicting natures

It’s truly not easy to want to do what is right. Like Paul, we can will it, but we can't do it. We decide to do good, but we don't really do it. We decide not to do bad, but then we do it anyway. Our good intentions usually don't result in actions. Such is the conflict between grace and corruption in the heart of a renewed sanctified soul. ~Romans 7:17-25

Perhaps like me, you have been struggling with an attitude or a habit that you know is wrong, and you decided that you want to change. Yet after a while, you find yourself right back where you first started. Then, you start feeling frustrated and angry at yourself for not trying harder, especially when your actions unintentionally hurt the people whom you love dearly.

However, it is in those times that I am reminded that I need something more than just my own effort and strength. I need to rely on Jesus’ promises and have faith in them so that I can find strength to fight against life-destructive thoughts and habits. We will always be in a battle against temptations and negative thoughts, but we need not give in to them. There is so much better things which we can consciously focus on in their place - thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable; anything that is excellent or praiseworthy ~Phil. 4:8-9.

In God, there is always hope to change even if the struggle have been the same issue for a long time. Nonetheless, we are reminded too, that a changed life does not come instantaneously, for recovery is a step-by-step process. I only pray that in the process of recovery, I will not lose fixing my eyes on Jesus.

God's comforting peace

I thank God that He promises to keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is stayed on Him, because he trusts in Him~ Isaiah 26:3

Even at times, when reaching out for His peace seem quite impossible in such a crazy, chaotic world, I thank Him that that the peace that He gives isn’t like the peace the world gives~ John 14:27. The peace that He promises does not come in the absence of danger, but in His presence. And, it is in His very presence that my heart has often found comfort and assurance.

Nonetheless, it is only as we keep our minds and thoughts centered on Him that we are able to summon peace for every situation. Perhaps that’s why it is important and essential read the Word daily; rejoice always, pray without ceasing and in everything give thanks, for these disciplines help us grow in our consciousness of Him, our connection with Him, & our confidence in Him.

Dear Lord,
I thank you for your faithfulness to me and your everlasting promises. I thank you that you provide peace that transcends all understanding. Help me to daily learn how to commit my works to you so that my thoughts can be established by you.
In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

Hope is...

“In your hearts, set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have…” ~1 Pet 3:15

So, what do you think hope is, little ones?
· “It is looking forward to something with a feeling of expectation or confidence”. ~Will, 10
· “Hope is practical. It means talking to God every day expecting an answer. It means having Jesus to talk to. It means being satisfied with what God has given you”. ~Justin, 10
· “It is like the feeling of Christmas. It makes you feel kind of good inside, sort of like you’re going to get a gift”. ~David, 9

There is so much I want to learn from these children. Their answers are simple, yet profound. Indeed, every day can be like Christmas morning for us, but only if our hopes are driven and controlled by God. Why? Because it is possible for the Evil one to control our hopes- making us excited and eager for new things- except he directs our hopes towards worthless and sinful things.

Hope is also more than keeping a positive mental attitude in the midst of negative situations, for genuine hope is based on the Bible. Real hope, true assurance, comes from knowing God’s promises for us both to this life and that which is to come. Additionally, hope comes through faith, believing that He is faithful to keep all His promises. On the other hand, a mere positive mental attitude, which is usually characterized by repeated positive confessions, may only lead us to believe in our self, rather than in God’s ability to work all things out for the good of those who love him.

“Hope is God's gift to us," says Amal, 10. Yes, God’s gift of hope to us came in the form of a person, Jesus Christ. He is the sum and substance of it. I don’t know how this works, but you just have to believe it- that in as much as Jesus is the ground & foundation of the eternal hope that we can have, He is also the end result of that glorious hope.

A simple response

In times of storm, I believe that Jesus is calling me to step out of the boat and not look at the wind & the waves, but to just keep my focus on Him because only He can enable me to walk on water. In any case, His dominion and sovereignty surpass all other things. As such, it relates to a freeing and humble attitude that willingly leaves the results in God's hands while waiting, yielded and still.

But then again, most of the times, my surrendering to God comes at a snail’s pace. More often than not, it happens after I’m tired of groaning and moaning or, after I’ve spent much time outlining a problem and then, realize “Hmmph, I really can’t figure this out myself”.

I want that gradual & eventual surrender to turn into an immediate & spontaneous surrender. I want to be able to trust God to take care of my daily concerns. If I can trust Him with eternal issues- knowing for sure that my inheritance is secured in heaven, then I want to be able to trust in Him with earthly, everyday issues too.

As difficult as that can be, I pray that God will help me do so.

The gift of sleep

“It is useless to rise up early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don't you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?” ~Psalm 127:2

Yes, I do know. I know that God enjoys giving rest to those he loves, but somehow, I’d lost my grip on that true meaning of rest. Countless nights, I lie awake on my bed with to-do list for the next day replaying itself over and over again in my mind. Before I realize it, fear starts filling the gaps of uncertainties. Eventually, I will fall asleep, but it is not as comfortable as I hope it would be. My body doesn’t even seem fully refreshed the next morning.

For a while now, I’ve struggled with getting a good rest at night. I tend to sleep late and wake up early. For many, this is diligence- stretch yourself, work hard & long if you want to succeed. I was starting to think that way too, until few mornings ago, God gave me a wake-up call through the verse above.

It is vain, totally worthless, for me to rise up early and sit up late, and so deny myself of the bodily refreshment that I need. No doubt, hard work pleases the Lord; however, my working to the restriction of rest will be nothing more than just a cover-up for my inability to trust Him to provide for my needs.

Sleep, even bodily sleep, is God's gift to his beloved. Yet, we often times lose this precious gift to the devil- in fears, worries & anxieties. It is more than just a physical act of lying down on the bed and cuddling our favourite blanket since our spiritual body is attached to our physical one. Our spiritual body needs to find rest & contentment in the Sovereignty of God first, believing by faith that what the Bible says is true regardless of our present circumstances; before we can find the physical rest our body yearns for.

Jesus slept in the middle of the hurly-burly storm at sea. He let the waves rock him to sleep. He shows us what it really means to sleep long & soundly; and that is to place our trust not in our own strength and hard work, but in Him without whom we labor in vain.

Thank you, dear Lord, for showing me this precious truth.

His faithfulness endures forever

You know, in times of difficulties, when my faith seem to be at the weakest point, I am so, so glad that He doesn’t just brush me aside and make me go through them alone. He patiently waits for me to come back to Him; to recognize His awesome and powerful presence in my life again. No matter how long or where I am, He unwearyingly waits for me to wake up to the fact that He is with me and have a refreshing conversation with Him.

God said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." ~Hebrews 13:5

I believe Him.
I believe that until the very end of my days,
He will have me and hold me;
Encourage me, support me;
Counsel me, advise me;
Guide me, direct me;
Protect me, defend me;
Prosper me, succeed me.
Whether in good times or bad times,
In sickness or in health,
In laugher or in tears,
I believe that He will be by my side…always.

Endurance over escape

The most proper way to live is still God’s way. Yet, His way can also be the harshest and toughest way of all, especially when existence circumstances seem to choke you unsympathetically and leave you breathless through it all.

May God’s promise of eternal kingdom & glory be not the reason I seek to escape this life; but rather, let it be the reason I learn to endure this life.

Happy birthday, You Shen

Happy 19th b'thday to a very much-loved lil' bro...

No doubt he can be quite a headache at times, but somehow, I always feel comfortable and safe with his company. I guess I really love him a lot, truly and deeply.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing Him into my life. May this birthday of his be just the beginning of another year for You to fill with abundant blessings, wonderful moments, and shining glory.

Amen.

Being nice & loving

People may be unreasonable, or illogical and self-centered, but we are to love them anyway because love never settles only for what’s reasonable and logical. It insists on being merciful and gracious. It encourages us to make the first step in showing loving kindness to others; after all, it is not so concerned with the eye-for-an-eye and tooth-for-a-tooth kind of fair loving. Sounds like what nice people would usually do, doesn’t it?

However, there is a difference between being nice and being loving. Modern communication tells us that it is all about being ‘nice’. Though it values truth, it only goes as far as it allows us to feel good about ourselves. We are highly encouraged to never use words that would cause other people to feel offended. Thus, truth becomes our enemy at any point it threatens to hurt someone's feelings.

Any one who is honest enough will find that too many a times, we tend to sacrifice truths to keep a ‘nice’ and ‘friendly’ image towards others. I know I have. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, I have purchased friendships and loyalty before by blinking at lies and deceit. I have done nice things simply for the sake of winning the approval from those I excuse. Nonetheless, in actual fact, being ‘nice’ at the expense of being truthful is just a selfish act of love.

I believe that any one who is willing to risk all costs for the sake of truth and to suffer for the sake of others is a genuine friend. Hence, I pray that God will continually teach me how to be nice to people, but not at the expense of being truthful. At the same time, I pray that I will be humble enough to let others convey truth to me so that I can change for the better.

When silence isn't golden

Are we truly being transparent that others see us as we are, with no pretense? Do we allow people to speak into our lives and give us godly advice for right living? Maybe we’re too proud to learn from others, or maybe we’re afraid of getting hurt if others see the vulnerable side of us; that’s why many a times, we aren’t showing people who we really are- our genuine being.

Perhaps it’s time we start getting real with ourselves. We need to be honest with ourselves and with God in acknowledging our weaknesses and vulnerability. We need to be honest with others too, and be willing to let others into our lives, so that we need not struggle with life challenges on our own, especially when we’re in the midst of trying to break off from a sinful habit. Such secrets will only keep us stranglehold of the sinful habits in our lives.

Perhaps we should stop playing church and truly be the church. We have too often times engage in only small-talks and telling each other how nice we look Sunday after Sunday, and maybe we really need to start making the effort to get down with more serious stuff like being accountable, vulnerable, transparent, and ever-willing to speak the truth with love & courage anytime God prompts us to.

Silence may be the key solution in many instances of our lives, but it isn’t always the case is it, since honest talks cannot be stirred out of silence. It won’t be easy getting honest-being real, genuine & sincere, whether with God or with men. However, we can be sure that after the process of honesty, purging and cleansing, comes the purifying, filling, renewal & revival of the heart. This is His promise.

Being there

I have to admit that at times, I struggle to give people my full attention when I truly ought to, especially when I’m with the people I love. I make sure I lay aside a certain amount of time to spend with them, yet occasionally, in the midst of spending time with them, I find my mind drifting off to the future, planning about what needs to be done next and how I am going to do it.

I want to be able to focus on the present, to make each moment count not only for myself, but for others and most importantly, for God. But then, I have this tendency of falling into the trap of getting too caught up with doing things that I start losing the sensitivity I should have towards other’s needs. I know clearly, that while some of the activities on my to-do list may be good and fine, I should never let them interfere with God’s plans.

Maybe you’re like me; we sometimes struggle being really there for the ones we love. We struggle to empathize with them, or even share in their joy because we let the noise of empty worries clutter our ears & heart. The only solution to our problem is to trade all our activities for His priorities, every single day; more than ever, first thing in the morning. As Mathew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you”.

Being a godly Christian is not about being a Superman or a Superwoman by the world’s standards. Rather, it is about being a humble and teachable person, who is sensitive to the supernatural leading of the Holy Spirit. No doubt that we will still have many tasks that we need to accomplish, but maybe we can learn to prioritize our to-do list, complete what we can and let God deal with the rest. If they have to wait, then so be it.

Every activity needs to be evaluated and re-evaluated in light of the Kingdom’s agenda, for the influence that we should leave on others should be one of love and attention, not on completed task list- this is the true essence of being there for the ones you love.

Everything to God in prayer

Dear Lord, help me learn to make prayer my life. Make my life a prayerful one too, for I do not want to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I want to present all of my heart’s desires to You. I need Your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard my heart & mind in Christ Jesus.

Living a life of total surrender to You is not easy at all. The desire to take control of my own life, to set my own agendas, and sometimes, even the agendas of others, is so strong deep inside me. But, the weight of these worries and thoughts are too heavy for me to carry; they only lead me to distress and anxieties.

So, please do come and take Your rightful place in my life, dear Lord, the center of my life. Only You can help me overcome disappointments with new beginnings and an everlasting friendship. Only You can make my burdens sweet and strengthening. Help me to always have the desire to seek You and to make Your throne, not the phone, my first approach whenever I feel troubled.

In Jesus name, I pray,
Amen.

“O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer”

Read & Pray

It kinda dawned upon me this morning how equally important both the act of praying and reading God’s Word are in keeping our spiritual body in shape. We can’t just give our full attention to one and neglect the other; we need a balance between the both.

If we merely spend time reading the Bible daily but don’t spend time in prayer, what good is it? The mind can be developed with the knowledge of God, but without prayer, the heart will still stay cold and hard. On the other hand, what good is it if we only spend time in prayer but don’t spend time reading the Bible? Without reading the Bible, we have no knowledge of God and hence, no understanding of His will in our lives. Thus, praying without knowing the Bible will only lead us to pray inconsistently to His will.

A marathon runner needs both regular training and a nutritious diet to keep up with his physical fitness. Likewise, we need to pray regularly and feed on God’s Word to keep our spiritual body in shape. Prayer is our form of exercise for the strengthening of our soul, while the Word of God is what gives us the essential nutrients for our spiritual growth. Both are necessary to help us stand strong and courageous in our spiritual battles against the evil one.

As Christians, the marathon we’re in is a pretty challenging one for there are many hurdles which we will have to cross along the way. For some of us, the marathon could perhaps be a little longer than others’. But no matter how tough or how long it’s going to be, let’s not give up along the way. Christ has already won the victory for us. It is just a matter of time before we truly get to taste that victorious win one day.

The utmost pursuit

Yes, no doubt you are very capable. You manage your time well. You lead bible studies, you teach in Sunday School and you coordinate prayer meetings. Even in planning and organizing events, you are efficient. You bear much more responsibilities compared to others because of your high level of competence.

But, honestly, have you taken time to stop and consider whether you are pursuing your own agendas in some way as you do His work? Are you sure it is God that you are pursuing and not ministry? Do you still feel good about yourselves even when things on your to-do list have not been accomplished?

Sometimes, in the midst of our pursuit for success in ministry, we tend to forget that the one thing God cares about most is our pursuit of Jesus. Those dreams and plans we have may just be out of pure and simple desires to want to do great things for Him, but there are times when we let activities and busyness cloud our minds that we start losing our focus on Jesus.

God never is in a hurry to fulfill His dreams. As much as He would like to see us put our abilities and talents to good use, He doesn’t want impatience to get the better hold of us either. We need to realize that His ultimate dream for you & I, is to become more like Jesus each day. It is when we learn to embrace this dream and make Christ all that we long for, seek after, love and adore, that all the desires of our hearts will come to pass.

I’m glad that God never ever tries to think that He’s like us, nor does He let our agenda and expectations thwart His plans of what He wants us to be like. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if God changes the plans He already has for me. He knows me so much better than I know myself- my needs, my wants, my wishes, my everything! He knows me perfectly inside out & upside down; and He’s got just the right plan to let me enjoy the fullness of life. All I need to do is to surrender my all to Him and then, patiently look forward to see how He will grow me as a result.

Story of a Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots; each hung on each end of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots, full of water in his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "For the past two years, I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value for your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Our lives are quite similar to that cracked pot. We are imperfect and broken; and at times, our sins and failures can really discourage us so badly that we feel like worthless nobodies. We then long for a fresh start, a new beginning. And what do we do? We strive hard to do more good works, thinking that somehow those good works can compensate our past. That’s legalism; definitely not God’s way of personal revival. However, that’s just our human nature, isn’t it? It seems so natural for us to lapse back into legalism every now and again, thinking that that is the right way of achieving His acceptance and blessings once again.

God wants to send a revival into our hearts, but He doesn’t need a clean heart to do that. All He needs is a contrite heart. A contrite heart may be grieving as a result of sin’s consequences, but at the same time, it knows that the only way it can be revived and refreshed again is by going humbly to God’s throne of grace for only He can fill, satisfy and mend the broken heart.

We should perhaps quit worrying about what we’re not and just give God what we are. No matter how cracked up we are, I am convinced that He has the power to mend every single cracks we have, but that’s if we will let Him. Think about this- it is because we’re imperfect that God has something to work with. Plus, it is only through cracks that light can begin to shine through.

Embracing forgiveness

Time and time again, we read of God’s boundless grace & mercy. We know that because of Christ, we are safe from all condemnation of our sins, as if they had not been committed at all. God deliberately remove them so that they cannot affect us any more; so that we need not feel guilty for our past sins. Yet, we all struggle at times to accept His forgiveness. Deep within our hearts we struggle to forgive ourselves even thought we believe that we have total forgiveness for our sins in Jesus Christ.

I don’t know about you, but I know I struggle a lot with self-forgiveness. Guilt is truly a strong emotion that if we’re not careful, we can allow it to outshine the great, or u can say gargantuan, gift of pardon and restoration that God freely provides. His mercy & grace is so great that there are no boundaries at all, infinite. However, we tend to think that our past actions are so terrible that God cannot forgive us, and that is, as a matter of fact, a tragic error.

It is also possible that sometimes we get so blinded by the outcome of our sins that the feeling of guilt stays alive in our minds. The negative consequences we bear as a result of our mistakes prevent us from fully understanding and receiving the miracle of divine forgiveness. The miracle of God’s forgiveness is that, with His help, we can be forgiven even though we still remember our past sins. Forgetting should probably never be a test of whether our sins are forgiven since lessons from our past sins are to be remembered.

Each of us is a valuable child of His. We mean the world to Him. We are deeply loved and precious to Him. That’s why we have the liberty of grace; the liberty of His glory; the freedom from fears of condemnation and guilt. He doesn’t want us to be haunted by insults or the damning effects of our sins. Neither does He want us to look down on ourselves and feel unworthy. What He wants is for us to bear in mind that our value doesn’t spring from our own feelings, but from His. He says that we are valuable and that should be enough. This is the truth.

Giving our best for the benefit of all

It sometimes can be quite frustrating when children don’t seem to do the work that they are supposed to do. Well, of course, if it’s a fun activity or game that they are asked to participate in, they will be more than willing to do so. But, when “less fun” responsibilities are given to them, all of a sudden, you lose them; you lose their cooperation.

When situations like this arise, I feel sorry for those children who seem to be trying their best to carry out the task given to them even though they may not particularly be interested in it, especially when it’s a group work. It just isn’t fair that some are putting in their best effort while others are idling and uncooperative. At times, I feel like punishing these kids, but then again, it’s quite worrying to punish them in order to get them motivated.

I guess it is the same in the body of Christ. The body of Christ is composed of different parts and each part has a responsibility to perform. All of us are the different parts which make up that body and if each of us do not do the things that we are supposed to, the body cannot function as well as it ought to be. Even if we do acknowledge our responsibilities, yet do them out of reluctance and half-heartedness, our attitude and actions will still be reflecting the total opposite of God’s nature. Plus, it does seem unjust too, if one is striving for the best, while others are contented with anything less than that.

We all have the same goal; we live in the same family. However, perhaps every now and then, we need to ask ourselves how well we are contributing to the body, for we need to jog our memory a bit to bear in mind that all our actions, be it in words, thoughts or deeds, reflect not only upon our individual self, but also upon our Heavenly Father.

We probably should start realizing that we are all indeed part of the same team, same family, one body, His body, so that we can begin to leave a lasting positive impact on the people around us. We may be plainly different people, but all are needed for the nourishment of the whole.

The lesson behind the pain

It is quite a painful lesson to learn from but, I can’t blame anyone or anything on something I’d done wrong myself. I can’t blame God either, because I know He doesn’t cause suffering. In His eyes, the car accident wasn’t an unexpected mishap; He knew it would happen. But, He allowed it to happen for certain reasons, reasons that I may not fully comprehend, but enough to know that it is for good reasons.

Now looking back to that fateful night, that night was perhaps the worst that I have ever experienced. As I was brought into the hospital and with the pain hitting me with great intensity, it was quite impossible to not think about death. At that moment, the danger of death seemed so close, but I was helpless to defend myself against it. I began to understood more why the Bible calls death the greatest enemy.

I wonder if God wanted to teach me a lesson on death. Death is as real as life, and ignoring it does not change it. So often, we choose to disregard the thought of death because it causes grief & heartaches; it can also suddenly disrupt the lives of our loved ones. But, perhaps God doesn’t want us to refuse thinking about death. To overlook death is to escape the reality of life.

Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Numbering our days doesn’t mean to arithmetically count the number of days we have to live for it’s not possible. However, it does mean to seriously consider the shortness of our days and to consider our latter end, what will become of us after we leave this world because thinking about death can teach us more about the value of life. It is because of Him that value is added to our lives and it is only in Him alone that we can find the most definite and secure answer for death.

Over the last few days, I had been scared and fearful, angry and frustrated at myself, but I thank God for walking with me. He knew very well how I felt and yet, He listened graciously to all my frustrations. He knows what it’s like to suffer and that’s why He was there to comfort me. He also gave me a caring family and a loving group of friends who have been continually accompanying, encouraging and praying for me. All their love and company kept my heart warm as they shared the pain with me too. So, thank you all for your love and support. I know some of you would have loved to come keep me company, but cannot. That's ok. The sincerity from your SMS-es and calls already speaks a lot of your concern and care for me. =)

The pain is not totally gone, but I'm feeling much better now. I believe that God is still working to piece all the broken pieces left to create something stronger than before. After all, He has taken my anger and slowly replacing it with peace; He has taken my fear and slowly transforming it into confidence; He has taken my anxieties and slowly turning it into hope; He is keeping His promise by not giving me more than what I can bear. More so, He is meeting all my needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Eight Random Facts

Tagged by Dan.

1) Each player must post these rules first.
2) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3) People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Serene’s Eight Random Facts

1. Her worst enemy is beansprouts. There’s very, very little hope that she’ll ever grow to love it.

2. Two of her most favourite drinks are limau-ice and coffee.

3. She finds herself loving Rusk’s baby biscuits even more as she grows older. It’s her all-time favourite biscuits.

4. She’s got a high tendency to fall asleep while watching a movie on a DVD player. Thus, she seldom finish watching a movie at one go.

5. She’s not a sweet-tooth person. If you happen to see her going for sweet things like chocolates and cakes occassionally, it’s one of those times when she suddenly has the craving for sweet stuff.

6. She must have a blanket or at least a large towel to cover her when she sleeps at night. Sometimes, she’ll play with the corners of her blanket before she sleeps.

7. She likes keeping photos as beautiful memories of who and where she has been.

8. She washes her hair everyday. Somehow, she will feel uncomfortable going to bed at night if she miss out on her daily hair wash.

Now, I tag:
Chia Rho
Deborah

Kristi
Sarah
Selena
Symeon
Wan Ching
Yong Hwee

The Lord's Supper

From being His enemies, we became His friends. Once, we were destined for hell, but now, we are destined for heaven. No longer do we live in the dark for we now have the Light. No longer are we under the wrath of God, but under His love & grace. All these goodness, only made possible because He died. Christ death on the cross made all the difference there is between eternity in hell and in Heaven.

On the night Jesus was betrayed, He took bread, and gave thanks, and broke it, and gave to them, saying, "This is My Body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of Me". Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you" (Luke 22:19-20).

Thank you, dear Lord, for Your grace to allow me to partake of this sacred meal of Yours. You remind me that there is forgiveness for all my sins. You remind me that above all things, You love me unconditionally. You remind me that I was bought with a price, a truly costly one. That’s why You want me to glorify You with my body, my spirit, my soul; my all. However, sometimes, I tend to be forgetful and thus, I forget all that the great things You have done for me.

You knew this would happen, didn’t You. You knew that there will be times when I will allow myself to be pre-occupied with the things that are of no eternal value. That’s why you designed the Lord’s supper, so that whenever I eat and drink from your table, I will remember who I am in Christ. Every time I come to your table, You want me to carefully examine myself and let You cleanse me from all self-centeredness. Indeed Lord, “Only one life, 'twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last”. May I never forget this Lord; don’t let this phrase depart from my mind. Rather, let it be the conviction of my heart all the days of my life.

Amen.

Way to go, teeth!

After one and a half years, I finally got my wisdom teeth out! All four of them, they're gone! What a relief!

It's been five days now since the surgery on the 12th, but it still hurts a bit. Nonetheless, if you ask me whether I regretted getting them out all at once, I would still say "NEVER!" I am so so glad that I got it all done at once that I can fly to the moon! I rather suffer all the pain once, than have it separated into two different occasions.

This will definitely be one of those unforgetable experiences which I will never forget. I'm now left with 26 teeth, but don't underestimate them; they are pretty strong and hardy. They will definitely make up for all my other lost teeth. =P

Feelings & emotions

You are walking down a small narrow street and suddenly, a little girl embraces your leg to beg for money. The sight of this young child in dirty clothes and teary eyes makes you want to pick her up in your arms. She holds out a small cup to you, waiting in hope for a few coins to be dropped into the cup. You feel sorry for her; your heart cries out to her. Out of sympathy, you pull out a 10 dollar note and give it to her.

Then, just as you are about to turn at the next corner, you pause to take a look back at the girl one last time. To your horror, you see her pulling out a stack of money notes from the back of her pants. All of a sudden, you no longer feel as sorry for her anymore. You feel cheated and angry. Why the sudden change of emotion? Why don’t you feel as sorry for her anymore?

I think our feelings and emotions have the ‘information’ element that influences the way we react to the things happening around us. In a way, our feelings and emotions are conditioned by the information & knowledge we have about the way of life, and also our beliefs. In the situation above, you found out an extra bit of information about the girl just as you were about to walk away, and that made all the difference in the way your feelings responded.

Thus, it becomes crucial for us to have the right information and knowledge in our mind to respond in the right manner as we can sometimes make ourselves feel better emotionally even with the wrong information. I have learnt that ultimately, I still need to look to God for that right information for He is the source of all knowledge there is to life. This could be the reason why God wants us to come to Him first thing in the morning, diving straight into His Word and to commit the day before us into His hands, for it is through the Bible that we learn how to control and express our feelings in ways that are helpful not only to us, as individuals, but also to others.

I pray that God will help me acquire that Christ-disciplined nature, where I will daily commit the first few moments of my mornings to read His Word and pray; to pray for Christ to take total control of my being, providing me the sufficient strength that I need to sustain me throughout the day. Even when I don’t feel like doing just that first thing in the morning, I pray for obedience, to humbly come before Him for wisdom and guidance. I believe that good feelings will eventually follow the right behaviour for Christ has said that we will be blessed if we do the things we know is right.

Rubber band theology

As Christians, I believe that we can only walk in disobedience for so long. Of course, the longer we walk away, the bigger the consequences will be. There’s a saying that goes, “It’s all a rubber band theology”. The Lord has a rubber band around us to keep us close to Him, but we can stretch it. We can move away; we can distance ourselves from Him, but he won’t let us go no matter what. The question is, when will we snap back and how hard will the impact be. Imagine having a rubber band around your wrist. The further we pull the band away from the wrist, the more it hurts when it snaps back.

God gives us the liberty to go our own way, to wander away occasionally. However, He also gives us the chance to come back to Him. Ultimately, we will be drawn back to Him because we have His seed, grace and image implanted & stamped in us. We belong to Him, He owns us. It doesn’t mean that as a believer, we no longer have the ability to do wrong. No, it is not possible to live without sin. However, it does mean that a true Christian will never willingly live in a continued course of sin with great enjoyment.

Sin will only bring negative consequences into our lives. There’s no doubt about that. The Holy Spirit knows this and that’s why He grieves whenever we sin. It is also the reason why He is in us to prompt us to do the right thing for He knows that sin will only break us. We can choose not to go His way, but, mind you, the more we distant ourselves, the greater the pain will be. When the time comes when we get yanked back again, like the rubber band in our wrist, the only word we are left to say is perhaps “OUCH!” since it was our choice to stretch it; there’s no one whom we can blame it upon.

Cross-examine Him, He's always right

The trials and hardships we face in life should really be seen as opportunities; opportunities for God to mould us into a better person. But, too often we look to them as big troubles and complications. When God decides to do the kindest things for us, I often wonder if they are often wrapped in the roughest packages, the most difficult moments of our lives.

Every now and then as I look back upon the difficult times I’ve been through, somehow, I will always find God’s never-failing work in knitting all those times into a beautiful outcome at the end. Perhaps that’s why James said to “consider it pure joy whenever we face trials of many kinds”. That joy that he speaks of is the joy that comes from our trust in God, knowing that whatever He does and is going to do, is definitely the right thing to do; the best. Like gold tried in fire, so is our faith tried in the midst of difficulties. And because it is in His Word, we can be certain that the testing of our faith will produce patience & perseverance, a longer durability of our faith.

How do I know that whatever the Lord does is always right & good? Well, cross-examine Him if you don’t believe; He will definitely win. Under cross-examination, you will always find His motives and affections pure and sincere. Look to the cross. Jesus is saying, “I’m dying in your place, I’m bearing your sins, I’m paying for your punishment, so that you can be free from all these”.

He has proven it to us and we cannot deny it. Perhaps it really doesn’t matter if at times we don’t understand what God is doing, for on the cross, He has proven that He is totally in love with us and cares a lot about us. I believe that God will always have His reasons and they can never be wrong or unjust. Whatever happens in my life, I can trust that it’s for my best.

Then again, it doesn’t mean that in times of trouble I put on a smile because I want to hide that hurt to act tough. Rather, I smile because I know that God is doing something good in my life, even though I may think otherwise. It sure is difficult to have to experience unspeakable hurts, but I’m glad that God is using every one of those experiences to mature me in ways that I cannot imagine. It’s just a sweet lesson that we can learn of Him.

Faith, hope & love

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”~1 Cor 13:13

All three virtues are valuable and essential, but the greatest is still love. I wonder if it could probably be something to do with the effects that love has on us. Compared to faith & hope, love has the wider influence in the world as it is what brings about unity in our diverse community today. It not only unites us with God, but also unites all of us, human beings, as a family. As such, we see love being the most fundamental element that enables us to enter into the very nature of God’s kingdom, bringing all of His creation into a harmonious blend.

Although faith, hope and love may co-exist with one another, faith & hope are perhaps only more helpful in building up individual needs, serving only one man’s interests. On the other hand, love encourages us to take care of one another’s needs, taking into consideration other people’s interest and to put others’ desire above our own. This is how we are to live, loving everyone with a sacrificial love with no boundaries attached, but much sincerity wrapped around it.

Nonetheless, be careful, for the devil is a clever one. He tries to stop us from loving each other and God with his deceptive ways. He haunts us with our past, reminding us of our failures and shortcomings, and he makes us question about the future till all the uncertainties start clouding our hearts with worries.

Perhaps that’s why we need the essence of faith & hope co-existing with love as well. Faith takes care of our past for we know that our sins are forgiven; we no longer need to be ashamed of our past. Hope secures us of our future because we know where we’re heading to. Thus, if we’re no longer haunted by the past and not worried about the future, that leaves us with love in the present. And that’s exactly what we’re commanded to do- love God and His people.

God wants us to enjoy the sweetness of every moment we have in life. We may not know what will happen in the future, but that’s OK for we know for sure that the living hope of God is true and certain. He’s here with us, right here, right now, and that’s all that matter. It’s the now that He’s concerned about. And so, let’s continue to let our hearts remain in love and mind in faith & hope that is cemented in His Word, shall we?

Like a little child

Like a little child, we can sometimes be so attention seeking. We fight for the fullest attention we can get from people. We demand for things to be done our way. We insist that we get what we want. Sounds pretty self-centred, don’t they? But, like little children, we can also be easily frightened when lightning strikes. We tremble at the first sound of roaring thunders. We cry when we fall. We feel as though it’s the end of the world when we come out last in a competition.

Like a little child, we’ll then run into the Father’s arms. We’ll crawl up into His lap and lay our head upon His chest. We’ll lie there long enough till we fall asleep. No need for words, no speech required; just letting Him hold us as close to Him as possible, close enough to hear His heartbeat, close enough to hear Him whisper assuring words. He’s always there to support us. His arms are forever held wide open to give us a warm hug of comfort, security and encouragement whenever we need them. That's just how amazing our heavenly Father is.

Like a little child, I hope that I'll always have that kind of feeling where there's an earnest longing for tomorrow's 'nap time' to come, for you know that that's going to be the best moment of the day. It is probably not just about finding rest, but also about listening closely to His heartbeat to know the plans and things He wants us to do for Him in life. Thus, I pray that I will never grow weary of going into a sweet, intimate and refreshing moment daily with the Father. May I never doubt the spring of life that continually gives me water to my soul.

My life's best man

He loves me, and will continue loving me all the way;
He’s committed to care for me as far as my life will take me.
His hands reach down to pull me up when I fall;
With a firm grip, he holds my hand, gently affirming me that I’m not alone to defend for myself in this insecure world.
As long as I need him, he will always be there for me.
He’s known me all my life-the good and the bad; he knows them all; yet, he accepts them as his own, for he loves me so deeply and dearly.
He’s always looking out for me, making sure I get the best.
Because of all these, I know that he truly means it when he says to me, “I love you, sweetheart.”

It’s not a poem, neither do I intend to make it sound like one. There’s just so much that I wanted to say about the best man I have in my life and I didn't know where to start from. So, I just listed whatever that came into my mind as my thoughts rolled.

It’s dad’s 52nd birthday today and I just want to thank God for His gift of life; for giving me such a wonderful dad. Dad has taught me many things in life, but I guess the one most valuable lesson I have learnt from his life is learning to see God in His loving heavenly Father nature; after all He embodies all qualities of earthly fathers in their highest form. This is probably why whenever dad gives, I am reminded of God’s generousity that is so free and ever-flowing; and whenever he holds my hands, I can imagine the warmness of God’s hands upon mine.

He doesn’t have to be the king or the president of the country to be the best man in my life. To me, he’s the best because he has already won the most important title that any man can ever achieve in life, “Dad”.

And oh, did I forget to mention that I love my dad? I love everything about him, very very much indeed.

Excellence vs Perfection

I want to excel in my studies, I really do. But what is it that defines my excellence? Straight A’s, High Distinctions, or maybe a perfect score? Yea, I used to think that grades were the most important; pretty impressive to get high grades, isn’t it? But perhaps excellence is not all about grades or getting the perfect score; it is different from perfection. In God’s eyes, being excellent doesn’t require perfection; it is doing the best we can with the resources we have at hand.

In life, we work hard to advance as far as our abilities can take us and I have no doubts that God wants us to work hard. But, I also believe that God does not want us to work ourselves to the extent we start losing the joy and happiness in carrying out the responsibilities we have. We all struggle to meet different demands from different people and at times, the expectations people have on us can be pretty draining on our time and energy. Suddenly, words like joy, rest, and freedom are lost because we consider them to be things that can only be done later.

I still have the tendencies to fall back into the trap of perfectionism. Whenever I realize that impatience and worries are starting to cloud my heart, I need to stop whatever I’m doing and remind myself that God doesn’t call us to perfection; after all, only He can be perfect. He only calls us to maturity and a balanced life. Studies and work are important, but so are the physical, social and spiritual aspects of our lives. In every aspect, there are duties which we are called to do and no one aspect can dominate all of our time. The best way out is probably to just do the best we can in the time allotted for every portion of work we have.

With exams coming nearer, there is certainly a higher demand on time and energy. Yes, there is a necessity to place greater emphasis on higher priority tasks and let lesser priorities slide a little. But maybe relaxation and joy need not wait till exams are over; we can still have fun while studying; it is God’s plan after all that we enjoy every moment of our lives with Him. In times like these- the ‘stress’ season, I pray that God will continually help me find joy in whatever circumstances I may be in and may this joy give me the strength I need to persevere through any hardships. I want to trust God, the One who by His power holds all things together- the moon, the stars and all of creation, to also hold my hand as I walk through this journey of life set before me.

Mistakes, failures & weaknesses

Finally, it’s over. After 3 weeks of teaching prac, it is finally over! It is quite a relief that the days of massive paper work is over for now although it had been a meaningful prac for me. Most importantly, I’m glad that my supervisors saw an improvement in me at the end of the 3 weeks. No doubt that there had been downs, failures, and mistakes during my prac, but I guess that’s what it’s all about- learning from my mistakes and turning them into lessons for something better.

I have to say, it certainly was difficult, to have to face with my mistakes and acknowledging my weaknesses. There had been many times when I just so wanted to give up as I grew to know of my limitations. But then again, I knew that it is only in my weaknesses that God’s strength is seen, and it is only through those mistakes I can learn to improve myself. I believe that mistakes are only truly mistakes when we fail to learn from them.

I guess it is the same with our spiritual walk with Him. We have an earnest desire to walk with our God, to progress and move forward as we walk towards Him, but sometimes, we feel like losing ground because of the tough challenges that seem to weigh us down over and over again. During those times, moving beyond these barriers and fully embracing an active, moving faith may seem impossible. But, thankfully God has given us this wonderful privilege to see things from His perspective. I reckon this is one of the greatest blessings we can have being His child- to be able to understand things with the mind of Christ. It gives us an eternal frame of mind that frees us from the captivity of time. It gives us hope, for we know that whatever we are going through right now will not go unnoticed; they will eventually have eternal consequences.

We may make mistakes and we may lack many things, but that’s alright. None of us is perfect. Perhaps what matters most is to do the best we can with what we’ve got while at the same time, faithfully trusting God to mould us as He wishes. Somehow, I think that when God is looking for people to do His work, He is more interested in their “availability”, rather than their “ability”. No matter how little we have, He can still do a lot, that’s if He has all there is of it.

My commitment to mum

Throughout the past week, the children in my class had been spending lots of time making and decorating Mother’s Day vouchers. These vouchers are to be given to their mothers and on each vouchers, the children had to write one thing that they would do for their mum in exchange for the voucher. It was quite amusing to read some of the things these children wrote. Most of them wrote “I’ll wash the dishes” or “I’ll clean my room” and one of them even wrote “I’ll be quiet for 3 minutes”! There was another boy who totally blew me away as he wrote the word ‘once’ at the end of every voucher he made so that his mum will not try to use it more than once. I laughed, hard!

Today, I gave my mum a voucher too; a voucher of my lifetime love for her. This is the commitment I’ve made towards her, to thank her for all the sacrifices she has made for the family. I want to continually show her respect through loving words and acts of kindness, to be humble and obedient to her as long as God allows me- this is my way of honoring her. She may not have brought me up the way I had hoped she had, but it doesn’t matter. She did what she thought was best to her at that time and likewise, all of us are just living our lives in the best way we know how. I believe mum has had her hardships and challenges, too that could have affected her ability to offer what I needed or wanted.

Mum’s greatest desire for me and my brothers now is for us to live a life devoted to Jesus. She hopes to see us walk in His ways, living a surrendered life wholly unto Him. As we daily commit ourselves to Him, I know that she is honored as well, for nothing brings her more joy than to see her children growing stronger in the Lord. I know there will be times when I will fail to live up to this commitment that I have made, but I pray that the Holy Spirit will help me continually love her with a genuine and sincere heart. Only He can help me express an unconditional and undying love for her.

I love you, mum.

Have my all, Lord

Dear Lord,

You know the anxieties of my heart, the things that I’m struggling so hard within me to keep a balanced life in you. Outwardly, my life may seem perfect, but inside me, there’s panic, worries and insecurities, which are starting to cloud my heart. I’m not sure I know exactly what these fears are, but it’s definitely not how you want me to feel. You just want me to seek you and trust you with ALL of my heart, and I think that’s what I’m finding hard to do at this moment.

So, teach me, Lord, to organize my days according to your priorities. Help me to rely on you with all my heart & mind, not just part of me, but ALL; and to find just enough amount of trust to keep me going for each day. Help me dwell daily in your promises for only your truths can set my mind free from all fears. Restore the peace that I once had with you, Lord; please, I need you, help me. Amen.

To a wonderful godsis

Thinking about the memories and the experiences we shared over the past few years just makes me turn to God and truly thank Him for you, a special godsis, who has enriched my life greatly and whom, I know will continue to do so for many years to come. I know a big part of who I am today is shaped by the love and care which you and Sam, and godma & godpa shared with me years ago when you all were still in BP.

I remember the time when I went to church service for the very first time. It was you who encouraged me to go and soon, all of us (together with my brothers and Sam, too) started going to church together. I may not have understood what church service was all about at that time but I knew I had fun and enjoyed going for it. And oh, with all the training we got from those banana & papaya sales, oh gosh, I don’t think we’ll really have to struggle achieving success if we had taken the business path today! =p

For all those fun times we had together as little kids, it's just amazing whenever I think of how they were already part of God’s plan way before we knew it was going to happen. He thought of you first when He wanted to create a godsister to be my friend. I feel blessed to have you in my life. No doubt times have changed and we are at different places now, but I believe that somehow, God will help us make this friendship stay strong, even after you go to the States.

I may not have said before how much you mean to me, so today, I’m sending you lots of love, special thoughts, warm hugs and kisses (think you’re gonna have to use Dettol to wash your face later) to wish you HapPy 20th BirThdAy! To my wonderful godsis, I pray that God will daily bless you twice as much the blessings you have given me! Hope you will have a fantastic birthday, Sarah. It’s your special day; you deserve the best!

Hoping for the best

It’s been two weeks now since the Virginia Tech massacre happened, but many are still shaking in terror. As much as we would like to manage all the possible frightening situations facing us, we simply cannot. It is impossible, unattainable. We do not have the power to control all the actions happening around us.

It probably has hit many of our minds, thinking of the question how our loving God can allow this brutal event to take place when He has all the power in the world to stop it. And, no matter how hard we try to get about answering it, we merely cannot find one. It’s like a puzzle with missing bits; a mystery that maybe could only be solved when we see Him face to face one day.

We may never fully understand why God allows suffering, but one thing I think we can all find comfort in- knowing that He did not exclude Himself from it. When Christ died on the cross, He suffered the most excruciating pain of all; like dying a thousand deaths. It probably is the worst form of death any man can and will ever experience, yet, He chose to expose Himself to it. The nails didn’t keep Him there; His love did. I guess this is probably one of the things that have been keeping me going on so far in life- knowing that He is not unfamiliar with whatever pain and suffering I may be experiencing. After all, He suffered the worst.

With so much of life happening outside of our control, the best thing we can do is perhaps to learn to trust God’s sovereignty for nothing can happen to us unless they first pass through His sovereign hands. I truly believe that there will come a day when God will wipe every tear away from our eyes; when death is gone for good, and so are mourning, crying & pain (Rev 21:4).

Just for you, Kor

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY to my dearest Kor, who has been

--such a blessing in my life

--there to support me when I needed him most

--helping & challenging me in my weaknesses

--caring & looking out for my safety in the best way he can

--patiently putting up with my ‘nonsense’ for all those times I’ve annoyed him (yea, I know I can be pretty annoying at times.. =P)

--bringing joy and happiness into my life simply with his smiles & laughters

--most importantly, for loving me, valueing me & accepting me for who I am

Thanks, Kor, for all that you’ve done for me- the sacrifices and effort you’ve made to just make sure I’m happy and well; and for just being you, not trying to be someone you’re not. It is probably one of those things I like best about you- being honest and open.

I pray that God will continue to use you as a vessel of love, that will always bring warmth and joy into the lives of many, and through you, may many people be touched by His love and peace. May God continue to bless you with a lifetime of beautiful tomorrows, too, which I know you will, coz you have ME! Hehe...


Love you lots!

"I did it"

John Stott wrote, “Before we can begin to see the cross as something done for us (leading us to faith and worship), we have to see it as something done by us (leading us to repentance)…As we face the cross, then, we can say to ourselves both ‘I did it; my sins sent Him there,’ and ‘He did it; His love took Him there.’

We caused the Great Rescue to happen. It was because of our sins that God had to send a Saviour and substitute into this world. Our sins left the Father with no choice, but to reject his beloved Son, Jesus when he died on the cross on our behalf. The Father’s holiness could not be compromised even though it ached His heart to see His Son being treated like a criminal, as though he was the one responsible for every sin ever committed. How painful it must have been for the Father to see His Son being condemned and cursed in order for us to go free, and how painful it must have been for Jesus to be forsaken by his Father at that instance so that you and I will never be forsaken.

Once again, I am being reminded of the significance of the Cross and the gravity of sin. I cannot help but be forced to think about the real nature of sin, the intense wickedness that we, humans are capable of, and the terrifying wrath that God has towards sin. Yet, at the same time, the Cross reassures me of God’s magnificent and amazing love, as well as His unspeakable mercy towards sinners, like you and I. This reassurance truly humbles me and reminds me of my need to depend on God to sustain me all the days of my life. Without His everlasting grace, mercy, hope and forgiveness, I don’t think I will ever be able to run this race with joy and peace in my heart.

I do think that one truly need to first approach the reality of sin before he/she can appreciate God’s incredible work on the Cross. But perhaps, it is not just realizing the seriousness of sin and humbly acknowledging the need of a Saviour to live a righteous life, but also, recognizing the holiness of God, which will never change to suit our standards. The torture and agony that Christ experienced on the cross has demonstrated the weight of sin in the eyes of God. May this serve as a reminder for me to never ignore His holiness- assuming that God is as tolerant of sin as we are, just so that I can excuse myself to succumb to my own fleshly desires.

Walking the Faith

Just wondering…
With little eyes that are constantly watching & waiting to see what I choose to do, am I sending the right messages through my actions? I say that I am a Christian, but do I have enough evidence to support what I say?

The Christian life is a life of commitment and total surrender to the authority of God. It is about holding firmly to Him, obeying His commands, walking in all his ways, and most importantly, loving and serving Him with all my heart and soul. Yet, I know that many times I’ve failed to live up to what I’ve claimed to be due to those countless times when I’ve put my desires above others’ needs, and thus, neglecting the responsibility that I have in loving others just as Christ loved me in a sacrificial manner.

But, I thank God for His grace and mercy, for not expecting me to live this Christian life on my own, or by my own strength. More so, I thank God for sending me a helper, the Holy Spirit, to live in my heart, to daily guide me to make wise decisions and to teach me how to love others with the utmost ability that I can. Without the Spirit’s guidance, I think I'll find myself falling over the same failures time and time again.

Surrendering to God is a constant decision that one needs to make over and over again if he/she wants to be like the Master; to act like He would act in bringing hope, love, joy and life to the poor and needy. The walk won’t be easy, but God has promised a victorious life through the Holy Spirit. Hence, I will trust in Him to provide me with all that I need to carry out the works that He wants me to do.

And so, dear Lord, as I continually renew my commitment towards you, refresh my heart with the joy of your spirit; fill my cup with your love till it overflows in and out of my life; and strengthen my faith that I may have the power to resist temptations, that as a result, I can be a more faithful & effective witness for you in this world. Amen.

The Essence of Easter

The wood, the thorns, the nails. One man, one cross, one death and that made all the difference in the world. That was the design of Christ death- to destroy the sins of every man, once for all, and that through His one death, our lives could be free from the bondage of sin and the eternal condemnation of sin.

But, hey, that’s not the end of the story. Christ's sin-conquering death was just Friday. There was Sunday too, the Easter morning, the morning of his life-saving resurrection. This is what Easter is all about- a new life.

Have you ever wondered what Christ’s ultimate purpose was for coming to earth? It wasn’t to make bad people good, but to make dead people live. That was His main aim- to give mankind a new start; new life; new nature; new freedom. His death and resurrection opened the possibility for men to be born again, not physically, but spiritually so that through spiritual birth, every man can receive the gift of Life.

Jesus was crucified, along with two other criminals and as they were about to die, one of the criminals turned to Him for forgiveness. That man realized that the only way for him to be free from all the guilt & condemnation of his sins was through Jesus' blood because only His sacrifice is fully satisfactory to the law & justice of God. He asked for mercy and Jesus freely gave; Jesus forgave the man who decided to believe in Him even at the very last moment.

When people come to us with their problems, the best support we can give is perhaps to help them see the goodness of the new life that Christ offers, rather than just rattling a whole long list of what’s right and wrong; telling them what should have been done in the first place and what they should be doing next to make things right again. Deeds do not save us, faith in Christ does.

I believe that redemption precedes righteousness, for only when we have the Life of the Spirit in our soul, can we have the ability to do what is right and justified in the eyes of God. Only in the new life, will we be able to have the desire to honour Him and lead the triumphant life. Never again will death have the last word.

“When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us.” (Romans 6:10)

Pain's Remedy

Life is difficult. We all know this for we’ve tasted pain before and we are continually faced by it. Whether we like it or not, we have to deal with it; it’s unavoidable. But, the question is how are we dealing with it? Is it a solution that is carried out in God’s presence or is it just another new way that you’ve design to make you feel better for the moment?

I guess many times we have fallen into the trap of blindness, where we take our eyes off God and allow our sinful nature to take the lead even though we clearly know that our actions and heart should be seeking after God’s counsel. Though I hate to admit it, but I have to say that we are pretty good at finding all sorts of ways, except God's, to soothe ourselves, telling us that life is okay and that we are okay too. We deal with our deepest agonies by manipulating things to go the way we want them to be.

We really tear God’s heart when we are ever so ready to turn to other things for comfort and help except Him. Perhaps what we really need to consider is- are we fearing the consequences of sin more than we fear sin at its core? Because until we really understand what sin is; it's true nature, the damages it can do to one’s life, as well as the ache it can bring to the heart of God, we won't quit playing with it.

In the midst of all our troubles, struggles, pains, difficulties in life, our heart is probably the one thing that we need to change, and prayer is the only way that will change it. I believe that God is faithful & will keep His promises, to supply all that we need- comfort, peace, strength, courage, hope and wisdom, at that moment to help us get past them.

Two ways of dealing with pain: one that seeks the counsel of God, while the other turns to earthly things for temporary comfort; one that is willing to wait upon the Lord and be obedient to Him, while the other is stubborn and determined to do things his/her own way. Which way are you following?

“If you are determined to go in a certain direction, God will step aside and second your emotion.” ~Ravi Zacharias.
And when this happens, I think that’s when we will face the greatest pain of all.

When "Mummy & Daddy" is lost

Kids should ever be left alone in this world to defend for themselves. Neither should any kid be deprived of parental love, for in this hostile world of ours, perhaps one of the most secure terms that all of us can hold on to is “Mummy & Daddy”. But, what happens when the symbol of the greatest security becomes the most horrifying one?

She came into class, feeling responsible for all the problems that her parents are facing in their marriage. She felt that it’s all her fault that her parents are unemployed. What did she do? She stole from the teacher! She was sick and tired of what’s been happening in her home and so, she stole, hoping that bringing something home would somehow bring a smile to her parents’ faces.

How delicate are the lives of the young ones. Kids walk into our lives with different experiences and backgrounds, and sometimes, we fail to respond according to their needs because they often seem cheerful and happy. But, when we really start looking deep down at the condition of their souls, we will find that most of them are just hungry for a touch of love. All they want is for people to show them a little more loving kindness and to value them for who they are.

I reckon children’s lives are like vases- valuable and fragile. A vase that is broken will forever be left scarred and marked. Similarly, children’s life can be forever marked and scarred if they come to a point where their lives are being stretched almost beyond what they can bear. No doubt we can try to piece the broken bits back together again, but no matter how well you do it; there will always be that mark there.

I only have 12 more days before I finish my attachment in this school. There are so many things that I wish I could do for these kids, but not only do I have limited time; I also have boundaries, which I cannot cross. Nonetheless, I pray that with all the time that I have left, I will take pleasure in investing all that I have to give them a glimpse of what God’s love is all about. For each one of them, no matter what is happening in their lives, may God help me be as accommodating as I can in all possible ways and hopefully, it will serve as an encouragement for the kids to continually make the best out of their lives no matter what the circumstance.